The View Up Here

In recent years, I've approached Advent at a breakneck speed, hyper-aware that I'm supposed to "do Advent" before I "do Christmas." The years I spent teaching and working for parishes were the ones I felt the most disconnected from Advent, ironically, because I was so busy preparing Advent liturgies, crafts, and activities that I missed out on the prayerful, silent, wintry season leading up to Christmas. (And let's not forget the excitement and stress of hurling myself across the NYS Thruway/MASS Pike every December to be home with my family.) The Moon getting ready for Advent (taken over my house this morning) The focus of Advent is to prepare for Christ in his Second Coming as well as commemorating the coming of the Second Person of the Trinity into Earth's history.  The liturgical season of Advent begins four Sundays before Christmas, and this year, it starts on Dec. 3, which means the Fourth Sunday of Advent falls on Christmas Eve, Dec. 24. In es...

I've been offline quite a bit this year. Another year of changes, as it has turned out. The big change is that I was invited to interview for an open Director of Faith Formation position at a parish two hours north of Elmira, in Macedon, NY, and I was offered the job. I accepted, but it meant a 3-week turn around on a move. Whew! That's not the fastest bug-out I've ever done - two weeks from interview to start date is my record (for the job at Cornell in 2005, NYS Move #2, incidentally). Because God is in the details, I have friends from college who live in Palmyra (next door to Macedon) in a giant 1800s farmhouse they've renovated over the last 20 years, and they invited me to stay with them while I looked for an apartment. I moved in on August 1st, started my job August 5th, and tomorrow, September 6th, I'll move into my new apartment just up Rte. 31. How wonderful! But really, moving, AGAIN. The older I get, the harder it is to move. God certainly keeps me o...

I am waiting in the silence for Messiah, the One who saves, the One who is Love, to come into my heart. Ah! He is already here, yet He seeks even more of my heart.  This Advent I was wracked with mono (since October) as well as stomach flu (last weekend). At first I was angry: how unfair, why did this happen to me, why now? I was planning to go "home" to be with family on the South Shore of Boston for Christmas as usual, and as usual, the hype and stress of getting everything done before I hit the road for a 7 hour drive to stay at other people's houses (even people I love) was starting to ramp up. To give you an idea of how this feels: One night in the midst of stomach flu ickiness earlier this week, I was awake, sweating, feeling so horrible I almost felt out of my body. And that's where I met Jesus. "Accept everything." That's what my spiritual director had said in his voice mail message that morning. "Jesus I trust in You." It...

Much has happened in these last few months. Jesus has been whispering in my ear... In a nutshell, I am now the Confirmation and Adolescent Catechesis/Youth Ministry Administrator for the Elmira Catholic Churches. That's right - I'm back in Elmira, the place I despised for so many years. I came here to visit last summer, and the lure was instant - somehow it felt all glowy and attractive. Now that I'm here, the vibe is even stronger. I am where God has longed for me to be! My work is precious and wonderful, and my lifestyle is more beautiful than I could have imagined. I live at the bottom of a wooded hill, close to work. I can easily buy local produce, hit the Wegmans for necessities, walk along the river, hang out at Harris Hill to watch the gliders take off, and best of all, I am a few minutes' drive from Mount Saviour Monastery (Benedictine monks). Compline (Night Prayer) at Mount Saviour Monastery. The freedom I feel inside is indescribable and bea...

...and all through the house, every creature is grateful that no one has to work tomorrow. Dutch apple pah is in the oven, Gramma's cranberry relish is made and marinating in its juices. Everything's washed and prepped for tomorrow. Pinot grigio in my glass. I'm going to go see "Hugo" hopefully tomorrow night, and perhaps "The Immortals" on the weekend. Good friend of mine is in Elmira for the next few days, so I will see her. Strange to think this is my last Thanksgiving here in this apartment. Last time I have to cook a huge Thanksgiving meal in this teeny kitchen. Though I have to say that I've got it down to a pseudo-science. I'd make someone a damn fine sous-chef. Well, maybe not...

I really wish my house were clean right now. But I don’t have the energy or the stomach to clean it. This is my perpetual dissonance. Wanting a clean apartment – wall-to-wall carpeting vacuumed, kitchen floor swept and mopped, dishes washed, counter tops cleared and spotless, cupboards organized and easy to access, furniture dusted, cobwebs whisked away, laundry folded and put away, winter turtlenecks and sweaters swapped for spring tops and summer shorts in the dressers, kitty litter changed, garbage all collected and tossed into the dumpster, patio swept, bathroom swept, mopped, scrubbed, disinfected, polished, bed linens changed, windows cleaned, desks organized, books rearranged. Now really – would I expect anyone to do that in one day? Of course not. But do I feel like shit because I can’t do it in one day? Naturally! I think I have this superhero image of my mother in the eyes of a six-year-old doing all this work in one day. Saturday, to be exact. The day that eve...