The View Up Here

The answer, of course, is yes. Everyone around me seems so relieved that summer is over and can't wait for fall to look like fall. Not me. I barely noticed the summer months because I was immersed in discernment, decision making, and moving. I tried to move to Massachusetts, but interviews and trips out there notwithstanding, it didn't happen. In fact, I wasted a whole lotta time worrying about that. As if... as if Jesus weren't right here, as if God doesn't have a plan for me, as if he's not guiding me. I am sometimes haunted by the past, which as we know, doesn't exist. What God has forgiven, what right have we to keep dredging up? Renounce it and stay with God in the sacrament of the now. Ultimately, I made my peace with staying where I am with the parish in Elmira, but I did end up moving apartments (not without some drama involving mice, a parking ticket, and random weirdness in my new neighborhood - but that's for another post!). In June I mad...

Over the past few months, I've had many interactions with friends of mine that go way back - 20, 25, even 35 years - and they have asked some very good questions about this whole "discerning a vocation" business. I also picked up that a few of them had some concerns, which is a natural reaction, I think, if the process and the spiritual life inherent in the process is unfamiliar to them. Not to mention the actual concept of monastic or religious life. And for some, me returning to the Catholic faith and wanting to live a life within that context has been troubling. With all this in mind, I figured it might be good to do an FAQ.  Please click on the links I've provided for more info on specific topics and experiences. If you have any other questions, please send me a comment. Thanks for reading! 1.   I have been discerning a religious vocation (to become a sister or a nun) for almost four years, now. In that time, I have met with several and very different re...

As it so happens, gentle readers, I am home from work after having my first root canal surgery, and I am taking some pretty good pain killers, so forgive me if my thoughts stray here. OTC ibuprofen doesn't seem to be enough to do the job, so 800 mg combined with acetaminophen and hydrocodone are in effect. As you can see, there have been some changes here - most notably my old domain "fred in the can" is gone. Time to put that one to rest; I've been using it with my films and writing since the mid-90s. The View Up Here is appropriate in more ways than one. I am living my life in a different way, from a different place, the Heart of Christ, plus I'm now living in Utah, which as the license plate boasts, is where one can live "life elevated." But, as most of you know, I prefer life at sea level. My visit home to Massachusetts for Christmas and New Year's was glorious. I was able to spend time with my family, and I had some time for discer...

Life in a new city, a new job, a new home - all of this and more have kept me occupied and not blogging. The third week of Advent is well under way, and in a week's time, I'll be on a plane headed to the Land Where I Was Birthed for Christmas and New Year's Eve. Not only will I be visiting my dear family and friends, I will also be continuing my discernment by staying overnight at the Carmel in Concord, NH , and visiting with the Poor Clares of Boston , located in Jamaica Plain. (Incidentally, Jamaica Plain is where my parents first settled when they moved from Elmira, NY to Boston back in the early '50s.) A few words on the full-time job I've held since August - I'm the Office Manager for Mt. Calvary Catholic Cemetery in Salt Lake City, UT, working for the Catholic Diocese of SLC. Certainly not rocket science, but definitely a ministry - in more ways than I would've thought. I've come to see and know a deeper vein of human experience and suffering...

I started writing this while I was in Carmel for my three week live-in... Anyone who thinks that living in a monastery is like being on vacation with nothing to do but gaze at the sky (or one's navel) and float piously down polished hallways and golden garden paths has never lived in a monastery. That being said, the hallways are pretty well polished, and while the garden paths aren't without tufts of grass and dried leaves, they are beautiful to behold. Keeping up an 88-year old monastery is hard work, and despite the physical limitations of several of the older sisters, things get done. There is help, of course, with regular workmen to do the heavy duty stuff like tree-trimming and painting, but by and large, these women live in community with each other, with God as their center, and hard work is part of the package. This is no house of laziness or effete living. I've been here almost two weeks, with one week and a half left to go. I've settled in fairl...

My, my, my how time flies. The school year has ended, all my work is done. Tomorrow I leave for two splendid weeks of discernment, living in a Carmelite monastery in San Diego, across these three beautiful feasts of the Church. Can it be true? How did I get here? I hardly know... except to say by the magnificent, grandiose, spoil-me-rotten grace of God. I have specifically been asking to know the Holy Spirit more intimately. Holy Spirit is, to my mind, "the mover and the shaker" in the Trinity. The Father is Creator and Being, Jesus Messiah is Redeemer and Rest, and it is in His Body that I rest. So we have upcoming: Pentecost Sunday, Holy Trinity Sunday, and the Feast of the Most Holy Body and Blood of Christ (Corpus Christi). In fact it was exactly one year ago on Trinity Sunday that I first went to to the Carmel to visit - Carmel of the Most Holy Trinity. Come, Holy Spirit, come! The past year was really rough - those girls got to my heart and I ached and I spilled...