O sole mio!

But another sun,
that's brighter still,
It's my own sun

(English translation, O sole mio)

The time has come, at last, for me to stop wondering what happened to my hopes and dreams and start living them, by the light of my own sun (so to speak). Thus, toward the end of September, I'll be heading to L.A. (land of sunshine and broken shining dreams) to find a job and work in the industry I've been dying to get into for many years. Is it scary? I'm crapping my pants a little. Is it exciting? I'm still cleaning up the crappy pants, but yes. This is the future I've always been afraid to chase down. I remember very clearly after finishing my MFA in film how I watched many of my colleagues and classmates head out to L.A. That was a few years ago, and most of them have careers they love. Don't get me wrong - I enjoy teaching - but I need to stop hiding behind the podium.

I've also recently become reacquainted with aspects of my past self (the one that spawned all these dreams): playing violin (I am so severely out of practice), drawing (abstract representations of my imagination), and reading good scifi and fantasy. These are the endeavors that fed my soul for many years. Slowly over time, I somehow allowed the best parts of myself to erode, became a little less bright, a little more tarnished, even darkened altogether. What was I thinking? Well it doesn't matter now, because I'm back.

I have a plan in place, which involves finishing up my responsibilities here in Ithaca, then going to visit my family (because who knows when I'll get back to Boston if I'm on the West Coast working my a$$ off), then the Serling Conference (Sept. 9 - 10, registration is now open!), then couch surfing in L.A. until such time as I can figure out my new life.

This is the beginning of a new adventure, and new adventures always involve risk. At the very least, if I fail miserably, I will know that I have made my best effort, and I won't die with a giant "What if I'd only..." skulking around the back of my mind. In the words of my boy Apolo: zero regrets!