You gotta see this: "Alientologists" sci-fi short film - DUST Exclusive Premiere

True Serenity

In the last three weeks, my life has been turned a bit upside down. Life is change, as a former film prof of mine recently reminded me. I've never been particularly good with change. In the past, I've either resisted it and suffered immensely, or I've run away to start over -- only I'd bring all the old bag and baggage with me that was never dealt with. 

In the midst of this current round of uncertainty and movement, I've been reminded that the appropriate response to any kind of big change is to offer up thanks and gratitude. But I know from my own experience that empty words of gratitude don't amend my heart, and they only end up tasting bitter rather than being sincere and true thanksgiving to God. I'd wager most people have experienced this at some point. I know of a few tender souls who struggle with it daily, in fact.

The other morning as I sat on my porch with my morning coffee, watching the finches duke it out at the feeder, I felt the very near Presence, and a word resounded in my mind:  acceptance.

Whoa! Okay, wait, what? You want me to accept all this crappy stuff that's happened and is happening? You want me to acknowledge that it exists and that I can't change it and to accept it? What are you, nuts?

Now, the Serenity Prayer comes to mind. "Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." And of course there are other, more modern, less pious versions, such as "Lord grant me the serenity to accept the stupid." But that's not so helpful. And even in its pure form, I don't think this prayer fully expresses what I'm getting at here.

Acceptance. It doesn't mean roll over and die. It doesn't mean not to feel your feelings. It does mean to feel them and give them to God, to let them go, rather than wrap yourself up in them like a shroud of victimhood from which to accuse the world's injustice. It doesn't mean you don't speak truth about justice, righteousness, or mercy. It does mean you live your best life and allow others their God-given free will. It means we understand that God's will is always present, always moving, even when humans choose otherwise. God's will cannot be overwritten. It involves trust. And as that acceptance takes hold, true gratitude can begin to germinate.

Once the gratitude takes hold, all things become blessings. You will see the people, situations, and things around you that you have taken for granted, and you'll give thanks. You will see the problem or change or situation you are facing as a blessing, and you'll desire God's will to be done (and trust He has plans for you). And only then will you have serenity. But it all starts with acceptance.

You cannot give Me thanks until you have fully accepted that things are the way they are, through no action of yours, and that your job is to stay with Me and let Me lead the dance. Trust that I am in control, here. There's no other way. You've tried it the other way, and you know that doesn't work. That leads to anxiety, anger, and depression. Those things make it harder for you to see Me and know My infinite love for you. Remember, I died on the Cross so that you could live. Accepting your cross is part of union with Me.

Lord, grant me the grace to accept all things as my share in the cross and to stay with You, my eyes on You, alone, and my heart open to receive the gifts that are present, which are also from You, in loving trust.                   

      Amen.

Late to the party...

But at least I'm here... watching Babylon 5, which, incredibly is 15 years old. I'm part-way through season 2, and I am really impressed with its "novel for television" storytelling. The Battlestar Galactica reboot owed A LOT to B5. The drag is waiting for Netflix to get me the next disc. Last night I watched 3 episodes and killed half a bottle of wine. This morning I polished off the 4th episode on the disc (I bet you thought I was gonna say I polished off the other half of the wine, din't you?)

ADDENDUM: In searching for an appropriate B5 photo, I came across a spoiler I didn't want to see. Do you know how hard it is not to cross paths with spoilers from a show that was aired 15 years ago? Drats!

I will be spending my afternoon with more job searching, which I did all day yesterday until my eyeballs were hanging out of their sockets. Online job searching is hellish, people, I'm here to tell you this fact. Cover letters are even worse. It's like trying to write a persuasive argument about why they should hire me, only it's in code, but I have to guess at the code, which by the way is different for every company. Then there's the whole "do I take 3 days to write the perfect cover letter, thus only applying for 2 jobs per week, or do I tweak a basic cover letter that may not be perfect to get it out in half a day, which = 2 applications per day?" I've been opting for the latter, because a) I ain't got time and b) I know from experience that I could chase down the "perfect" letter for weeks with umpteen revisions, and it would never be done. (Sorta like George Lucas rehashing the Star Wars movies for 30 years.)

I want one.

I guess Robits are the theme for the week.



They have a Plan.

The Metal Ones

Last night I had a very lucid, frightening dream about robots.

Rod Serling was brainwashed by the robits.

I was visiting an R&D company that insisted the robots would be the best thing that ever happened to humans. I saw them in rows, awaiting activation. These weren't any Will Smith-hating I Robot creeps, or Terminator death machines, or frakkin' Toasters, or even this guy. These were giant, menacing, metal boxy things. And there weren't no vacuum cleaner hose arms, neither.

I'm sure that's a death ray in his head.

I was being guided on a tour, meant to convince me of the goodness of the robots, but I knew better, and I was scared witless. I faked my agreement and went along with the tour, nodding and smiling all the while. Finally we ended up in a giant lecture hall type of room, with a glassed-in office high above looking down. The room was filled with old robots - not the new ones I'd seen lined up awaiting activation. They were all taking a test. We're talking the paper test with the front page that says STOP! Don't open until instructor tells you!

The guide dude asked me to sit and take the same test. All I wanted was to get the hell out of there, but I was curious how this would work. I sat in the front, and there were two humans, college interns, who were cheerfully ready to take their tests. I asked them what they were doing there, and they replied that this was the best internship experience EVar, and they believed in the mission of the company. I thought to myself, "Brainwashed. I don't trust them."

"Robots are our friends! Don't be afraid!"

The exam began, but I didn't open mine. I turned around after a few minutes and found to my horror that some of the robots were slumped over - retired. I looked up at the glassed in room. Up there, I knew, were the Leaders who were wiping out these older model robots. I asked the guy who was my guide if the Leader was taking out these robots, and the guy said proudly, "Oh yes! This is the way we weed out our numbers to make room for the newer, better models."

Greeaaat. I then asked if I could leave; I'd seen everything I'd come to see and I was so grateful for the informative tour. "Of course!" my guide said with a bippy bounce in his step. He walked me down a side aisle to the outer lobby. Once there I was relieved. The sense of dread I'd felt in the lecture hall/testing room was crushing, causing me to panic and almost drop my act. In the lobby I found it easier to smile and act impressed. Then I realized I'd left my purse in the locker back in the lecture hall. I asked the guide if he'd go back and get it for me. I had no desire to re-enter that horrible room. There was a reception lackey, a guy, in the lobby and he asked me if I enjoyed my tour and was I impressed. I of course lied through my teeth and then turned away.

The guide returned with my purse, which I assumed he'd gone through, but I knew there was nothing incriminating in there. I thanked him and walked out into a sort of indoor plaza. Turns out this R&D company owned an entire complex. I kept my cool as I walked toward the exit, thinking to myself that I was sure they were monitoring me.

I finally made it outside into the night air, and kept my cool, still sure they'd be watching me, waiting to find out if I was going to warn the outside world. I knew they'd have me killed in an instant. Probably by robots.

Finally I walked far enough away that I felt I could relax. I headed for the nearest subway, and almost got hit by an errant train. Coincidence?

I have no idea what organization I was supposedly representing, or why I was actually at the robot factory. All I know is that it was frakking scary.

I expect the robots to be unleashed any day now. If I were you, I'd sign up with Old Glory, and fast.

Going back in time...

Last week I started watching Babylon 5 via Netflix, because I'd never seen the series and I hear tell they're gonna do a reboot a la Star Trek. So finally I decided to see what all the fuss was about. I'm through the first three disks (still first season), and so far I am enjoying it, despite the cheesy 90s aesthetic and computer animation from back in the day. I'm looking forward to the Bruce Boxleitner episodes. Oh, and I haven't actually read that Wikipedia link because I'm avoiding spoilers, which can be difficult fifteen years after the fact.

I can see why it was lauded as better than Star Trek: Deep Space 9 at the time. I did watch DS9, actually, and dug the the intrigue and inter-species complications and politics. Recently a friend of mine said he watched DS9 beginning to end and found it holds up over time. Funny how these shows from the 90s hold up over time.

What sci fi TV will people remember and order on Netflix in another five years? Firefly and Doctor Who are the only things that come to mind. Most of what's on these days seems lame in comparison. Too snarky, too clever (in a hipster kind of way), too simple. Maybe I'm wrong. It's only 8 a.m. and I'm not through my first cuppa, so not all pistons are firing over here.

What do you think?

A list of things that just shouldn't be:

1. 29-year old tubby co-workers who live at home with mom & dad, kind of want to go to grad school for something but don't want to deal with taking the GRE, evoke every D&D-playing, Star Trek-watching negative stereotype you've ever seen, and who hit on the (married albeit in the process of separating from her husband) temp receptionist (after divulging all these winning qualities). And who are temps, themselves.

That's it, actually. I just wanted to point out that if you're 100 lbs overweight and fit the above description, you really need to rethink your life plan. Get some help. Join a cult, maybe?

Yes, this is what happened to me this week at the awesome temp job I was raving about earlier. To be fair, the job is still great, the REST of the people at the office are cool, especially the one with the major candy craving, but I also have to deal with the afore-mentioned loser who is now giving me the brush off whenever I happen to be in the same room (like I care). But here's where I have to quote The Miz: "Really? REALLY?"

Now here's the thing, people. I have long been a supporter of nerd-dom. As we know, I am one, myself. Always have been. And I've always been a magnet for nerd boys, because I'm a nice person, I talk to them when often no one else will, and I often like some of the same stuff. Since 8th grade I've had to put up with the dregs of nerd-dom asking me to school dances and calling my house at odd hours (sorry, Mom, but you did raise a nerd, so you really have no one to blame but yourself). Honestly, I haven't had to deal with this kind of thing since junior high and high school, so it's both annoying and a terrible reminder of the worst 6 years of my life. Thanks a lot, Captain Jerk.

And I would like to point out, in case anyone is feeling sorry for the nerd boy, that my husband and I haven't even inked the separation agreement, Christ we're STILL LIVING TOGETHER. So again I ask: Really? REALLY?

File this one under "That Ain't Right."

Two for the price of one!

Greetings, Programs!

I realize I've already satisfied my quota for today, but I'm motivated to write more. Imagine!

As anyone who's known me for more than ten minutes can tell you, I'm a huge fan of the Tron films. Tron: Legacy was, for me, both a flash back to my teenage self watching light cycles race on the Grid for the first time, and a reminder of why I chose to write and make films in the first place. The man who envisioned and directed T:L, Joseph Kosinski, is actually the subject of this post (ah, eventually she gets to the point).

Now, there already exists in the blogosphere some excellent investigations into who Joseph Kosinski is, mainly because when he was attached to T:L, few knew the name readily. Check out the link I just posted to see the work he did pre-T:L, which was his first feature film.

So what's next for JoKo? Oblivion! I mean the film, "Oblivion," about a lone soldier (Tom Cruise) on a bleak, post-apocalyptic future Earth, repairing drones that seek and destroy the nasty aliens on earth. Until, that is, he meets a gorgeous (alien) woman who's crash-landed on Earth. This forces him to reevaluate his world view. (from Deadline Hollywood).

The title of the project seems to have migrated from "Oblivion" to "Horizons" and back again. I'm not sure what's going on there. According to ProIMDb, it's called "Horizons" but according to Deadline Hollywood, it's "Oblivion." So who knows.

What's important here is that I want to work for Kosinski. P.A., Office P.A., Personal Assistant, you name it. I want in. His future projects include remaking Disney's "Black Hole," and another sci-fi called "Archangels." The guy seems to dig making sci-fi. And what we need is a sci-fi champ for the next generation. Someone who can push the limits of imaging arts and sciences to create landscapes and stories that ignite our imaginations the way Star Wars: A New Hope did back in '77. Is that cheesy to say? Yes, I know it is. But it's how I think about these things and it's why I admire this man's work.

You may be surprised at how taken I am with all this technology stuff in filmmaking, given that I'm a screenwriter, not an animator or digital effects artist. Thing is, we know that all good sci-fi is about character and story, but how much effing cooler is it when the world in which those characters and story play out blows your mind away? I want it all, in other words.

Which brings me back to Kosinski. I gotta find a way to work for this man.

End of line.

Let 'er rip!

My return from Korea was less painful than previous bouts with jet lag and reverse culture shock. I've spent the last week and a half recovering, figuring, writing, reading, and sleeping. I go back to work at TC3 next week, and the week after that my class at I.C. will start up. This semester's schedule promises to be more sane than last semester's, allowing me to devote more time to writing (and also derby!).

A few reflections, in no particular order:

1. Characters or at least their desires need to be in jeopardy. Always.
2. Conflict means nothing without connection. It's the tension between those two opposites, the yin and yang of them, that makes good drama.
3. Meditation helps me to write better; it's great practice for focusing.
4. TV writing is like breathing air on another planet. I think I like it, though.
5. Writing excellent scifi or speculative fiction requires more than creative thinking. It requires research.

Farewell, Doctor...Welcome, Doctor

David Tennant's Doctor didn't want to go, and we didn't want him to go, but as with all things in this Universe, change is inevitable. It's hard not to compare, but I hope that DW fans won't be too harsh on Doctor #11 (as the BBC News clip below already suggests). I, for one, am willing to give him his fair shake at making the role his own. My initial impressions: a little reminiscent of Peter Davison's Doctor (#5) with a smattering of Patrick Troughton (#2). We'll have to wait unil the spring to see him and his new companion, Amy Pond, in action.

Astronomicon 11 - Rochester, NY 11/6-8

This weekend I attended a science fiction convention, which, instead of being based around talks by TV & movie actors, autograph signing sessions, and huge gaming and dealers rooms, was centered on the writers and writing of SF. Some names of note who were on panels and who presented their work: Nancy Kress, Daniel A. Rabuzzi, David DeGraff, and Robert J. Sawyer, best known for writing FlashForward, which is now a hit ABC TV series (he's now working as consultant on the series, and will be penning at least one episode.). A sampling of panel topics included writing for YA (Young Adults), podcasting, writing alternate realities, routes to publication, and "Twitter My Jetpack," about future technologies that didn't come to pass, and ones that have blindsided us.

I wasn't sure what I would get out of a convention aimed at writing and publishing fiction, as opposed to writing the screenplay or teleplay, but the gem for me was meeting and hearing Rob Sawyer speak about his career track (from television to publishing, and back to television). I was a bit embarrassed to say I hadn't yet watched more than 10 minutes of FlashForward, but now that I have a feeling for it, I'm going to give it a shot and dig the groove.

I was very pleased to meet Daniel A. Rabuzzi, author and champion of cross-genre writing (and many other things), as well as David DeGraff, professor of astronomy researching science in science fiction. Both wonderful people, very warm, genuine and completely fascinating.

So what did I get out of this convention? The discussion on writing for YA has helped me think about "Beauty Is..." (1950s coming of age piece), particularly around the darker aspects of the story I'm telling. I kept holding back on different characters and elements of the story, afraid it was getting too edgy and dark. I'm more inclined at this point to throw all caution to the wind, and just write the story that's inside me, that wants to see the light of day. It will be what it will be. I am grateful to all the panels and especially to Dan for helping me get to this point.

Another topic that warmed me to a potential story I want to tell is the concept of alternate histories/realities. In fact, one of my screenwriting students this semester is working on an alternate history piece, and I feel more informed now going into this with him. For my own writing, I've had an idea involving alternative reality-jumping germinating in the mold way down in the cellar of my brain. I think it's time that's brought up to the sun porch as well, to bask in the light and decide what kind of thing it is to become.

I am blown away by the networks of these SF writers, and now that I see how many places and times they have created for intersection (regional cons like this one and Eeriecon in Niagara Falls, and much larger ones such as Worldcon and Readercon), I am going to have to start plugging myself in. Screenwriting is screenwriting - it isn't like writing a short story or a novel - but creating the concepts and characters of SF require a healthy diet of reading, meeting, and writing no matter what the format.

Such is the writing life.

This Wednesday I have a phone meeting with a manager and, as such, I am putting things like grading aside for a few days to get myself ready for that. This con has given me some much-needed insight to get a couple things up to speed for that meeting.

Next order of business, however, will be getting a night of good, solid sleep. I am rather weary at the moment. Weary, but happy, inspired, and extremely motivated.