The View Up Here

It's time to round up 2023 and cast a gleaming eye toward 2024.   Quickly, because it's cold, and I have to go find a cup of hot tea in the kitchen to warm up: published my short story "Vinny and Luca" in the June issue of Lake Effect Magazine . This was my first short story publication, and it's one of the stories I've written as part of a collection. shot my short film "Dream House" in October after one postponement and a reschedule. We had an amazing cast and crew, a beautiful location, and a lot of generous help. The footage is now with an editor who hopes to have a rough cut in the next few days. started as a journalist for our diocesan Catholic paper, writing features and briefs on the happenings and people in the county. learned how to create video content for Instagram. learned T'ai Chi Yang style 32-move sword form started with a new spiritual director (who was then reassigned to someplace far away and with a far busier schedule... this ...

I am waiting in the silence for Messiah, the One who saves, the One who is Love, to come into my heart. Ah! He is already here, yet He seeks even more of my heart.  This Advent I was wracked with mono (since October) as well as stomach flu (last weekend). At first I was angry: how unfair, why did this happen to me, why now? I was planning to go "home" to be with family on the South Shore of Boston for Christmas as usual, and as usual, the hype and stress of getting everything done before I hit the road for a 7 hour drive to stay at other people's houses (even people I love) was starting to ramp up. To give you an idea of how this feels: One night in the midst of stomach flu ickiness earlier this week, I was awake, sweating, feeling so horrible I almost felt out of my body. And that's where I met Jesus. "Accept everything." That's what my spiritual director had said in his voice mail message that morning. "Jesus I trust in You." It...

Normally around this time, I do a wrap up of the year in my own life and estimation. Although I don't remember if I did one last year. Anyway, I'm resuming the tradition.  After spending the Christmas holiday with my family, I arrived home last night to find a pile of Christmas cards awaiting me in the mail box. I had anticipated this and was delighted to open cards from friends and family in other states as well as right here in Elmira. What I wasn't prepared for was a letter tucked into a card from my friend Fr. David, a Trappist in Utah. His letter held some sad news, including the death of their Guestmaster, lay brother Michael. Michael was my first contact at Holy Trinity Abbey, where I spent many a retreat weekend during my year in Salt Lake City, and we had quickly become friends. I will always remember his New Jersey baritone, "We all love you, honey. We're praying for you."  So last night after doing laundry and watering my plants, I made my ...

As 2015 comes to a close, I remember the joys, not the sorrows. I recall the unexpected blessings, not the disappointments.  I hold in my heart the sunrises over the Wasatch Mountains, the gift of the computer I'm typing on, my new friends in Utah whom I love, my old friends in New York and Massachusetts who have taught me lessons and supported me. I give thanks for the beauty of the ocean at sunrise here at Nantasket Beach where I stayed last night. I am exceedingly grateful for the foundation grant which will assist me in my student loan payments while I am in formation once I enter a religious community. I choose to focus on these blessings, not on the discomfort I may feel in the uncertainty of my future, my current lack of a "home of my own," and other factors.  Disappointments, discomfort and disarray are a part of life. There is nothing any of us can do to avoid this truth. The Buddha Dharma teaches that "Suffering exists." As a Catholic, I ac...

This Christmas and New Year's Eve, I am spending time with family and old friends in Massachusetts. I'm always happy to return to the place where I grew up, enjoy the holidays with loved ones, and worship in the very church where I received my First Holy Communion.  Fr. Jim's homily at Christmas yesterday was short on time but long on meaning. The closing of his homily was an encouragement to hang on to Jesus as an anchor . I love this analogy, as so often it does feel like we are tossed around by big waves, storms, wind, and the uncertainties of where we are going.  From the Catholic News Agency , quoting Pope Francis in his Christmas homily: ...the Pope asked that we open our hearts to receive the grace offered on Christmas Day, “which is Christ himself.” Jesus, he said, “is the radiant day which has dawned on the horizon of humanity. A day of mercy , in which God our Father has revealed his great tenderness to the entire world. A day of light, which dispels...

As it so happens, gentle readers, I am home from work after having my first root canal surgery, and I am taking some pretty good pain killers, so forgive me if my thoughts stray here. OTC ibuprofen doesn't seem to be enough to do the job, so 800 mg combined with acetaminophen and hydrocodone are in effect. As you can see, there have been some changes here - most notably my old domain "fred in the can" is gone. Time to put that one to rest; I've been using it with my films and writing since the mid-90s. The View Up Here is appropriate in more ways than one. I am living my life in a different way, from a different place, the Heart of Christ, plus I'm now living in Utah, which as the license plate boasts, is where one can live "life elevated." But, as most of you know, I prefer life at sea level. My visit home to Massachusetts for Christmas and New Year's was glorious. I was able to spend time with my family, and I had some time for discer...

Life in a new city, a new job, a new home - all of this and more have kept me occupied and not blogging. The third week of Advent is well under way, and in a week's time, I'll be on a plane headed to the Land Where I Was Birthed for Christmas and New Year's Eve. Not only will I be visiting my dear family and friends, I will also be continuing my discernment by staying overnight at the Carmel in Concord, NH , and visiting with the Poor Clares of Boston , located in Jamaica Plain. (Incidentally, Jamaica Plain is where my parents first settled when they moved from Elmira, NY to Boston back in the early '50s.) A few words on the full-time job I've held since August - I'm the Office Manager for Mt. Calvary Catholic Cemetery in Salt Lake City, UT, working for the Catholic Diocese of SLC. Certainly not rocket science, but definitely a ministry - in more ways than I would've thought. I've come to see and know a deeper vein of human experience and suffering...

A week from today I will be nervously re-re-re-re-re-repacking one or all of my bags, drugging my cat and myself for the long trip, and making sure everything is in order. I do have a busy week ahead of me, but I am feeling more energized than anything. I keep thinking of the palm trees and balmy temps as I sit here wearing layer upon layer, staring at the snow outside the windows. This move is so important - not just because I'm going some place warm, but because I'm at long last pursuing something instead of just running away (oh, the vagaries of youth). I am so grateful that I've been given this opportunity to move forward. I think I might have a buyer for the car (will know by noon), and I've perused online enough to feel confident that I can get something in L.A. in my price range that won't be a complete jalopy. She ain't much to look at, but she'll make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs. Thanks to http://lgreport.blogspot.com/ for the p...