Life elevated...at sea level

As it so happens, gentle readers, I am home from work after having my first root canal surgery, and I am taking some pretty good pain killers, so forgive me if my thoughts stray here. OTC ibuprofen doesn't seem to be enough to do the job, so 800 mg combined with acetaminophen and hydrocodone are in effect.

As you can see, there have been some changes here - most notably my old domain "fred in the can" is gone. Time to put that one to rest; I've been using it with my films and writing since the mid-90s. The View Up Here is appropriate in more ways than one. I am living my life in a different way, from a different place, the Heart of Christ, plus I'm now living in Utah, which as the license plate boasts, is where one can live "life elevated."

But, as most of you know, I prefer life at sea level. My visit home to Massachusetts for Christmas and New Year's was glorious. I was able to spend time with my family, and I had some time for discernment. The Friday after Christmas, I spent a day of pilgrimage to places from my childhood that had connected me in some way with God when I was a girl. It felt as if I could get into the skin of that little girl who was so in love with God and who felt God's love for her...

Portiuncula Chapel in Hanover,
where Cardinal Cushing is laid to rest.

Stations of the Cross in the woods behind Portiuncula, where I would walk and pray with my Dad when I was little. Such peace...

Resurrection Parish in Hingham, MA, where I was
baptized and where my parents and I
went to church as parishioners.

Inside of Resurrection Parish

When I was tiny and couldn't see what was happening at the altar, I thought that the bells ringing during the Consecration were coming from the gold Holy Ghost dove above the Crucifix. I was disappointed when I first discovered it was an altar boy ringing the bells!

How many of us feel this when we are little, a mysterious Presence, a swirl of Love surrounding us, but then lose it when the lies and demands of the world start intruding upon our innocence? Is it really a wonder that Jesus taught us to be as little children to enter into the Kingdom of Heaven? I'm not talking about casting aside your intellect or your lived experience; on the contrary, it's important to accept these things as part of us, but then to give them to God. This means not fighting the Love God pours out, when as adults, we'd like to think we're in control. We are little, and each of us longs to hear Him and know Him - we were built to love Him back. I'm currently reading a modern English translation of St. Augustine's Confessions, and he wrote about this very thing.

Yesterday's liturgical readings emphasized this: "God loved us first." And that's what I remembered as I wandered the places of my young life... I felt His Love as a child, and it was I who walked away from Him, not that God ever rescinded that Love.

He is constantly speaking to us, loving us, inviting us. Our adult ideas of self-determination and rugged individualism keep us from turning to Him with an open heart to receive all that He so longs to pour into our lives!

I was also able to visit my beloved Nantasket Beach a couple of times, once on my own and again with my nephew and his kids. The weather was mild, so I enjoyed walking along the sea wall with them, watching them on their scooters, and sipping my Dunks coffee.

Other notable visits: two days and two nights at the New Hampshire Carmel, and another visit with the Vocation Director at Boston Carmel. Boston Carmel is where I still feel the draw, the tug. But the only way I could hope to do a live-in experience and enter there is if I find assistance with my student loan debt. More on that later - but for now, it was enough to again feel that connection with the place and the spirit of Carmel in the heart of the city.

Boston Carmel on Mt. Pleasant Street in Roxbury, MA

Despite being exhausted by the end of my trip, I managed to get two awesome games of Scrabble in with my mother's and my dear friend, Lorraine. I won the first game, she won the second. Much coffee and chocolately goodies were consumed. No vowels were harmed in the playing of the game.

And of course visiting with Jackie, my bestest and oldest friend, was as it always is, revivifying, and reminds me of who I was and who I am. We were even able to go out to dinner at a lovely pub in Hingham called "The Snug," a rare occurrence, and she tried out a recipe for Snowball Cosmos, an excellent homecoming after a long day of travel.

Christmas Eve at my nephew's house was peaceful and fun with the necessary moment of silliness.

Auntie E, Pat, and Patrick

Reconnecting with my brother and his wife is always a wonderful treat, and this year was doubly special because I got to meet their dog, Ziva, who is an angel in disguise. Half Great Dane, half Pyranees, she is big, but I've never met a more loving dog.

Ziva also has bionic eyes that can shoot laser beams.

Christmas and New Year's were peaceful and filled with the love of my family and the Lord. What more could I ask for? 

The new year has begun with a root canal, and another yet to come. I'll be getting my new lens prescription later this month, as well, and I'm on track for paying off my personal debt so that I will be free to do a live-in in Boston or enter Carmel in San Diego later this year... Jesus invites me to trust Him day by day and not obsess over the future. As I've said to my dearest friend, God has brought me here to Utah as part of my formation - the changes I feel and witness in my own outlook and response to situations are remarkable, and they couldn't have happened if I'd been living the easy life with no challenges. Life elevated, indeed.

Let us pray for those who are struggling day by day, who don't know where their lives are going - which is to say, many of us! I pray that every single person will feel that Love of our God who loves us first and will respond with an open heart to receive God.