The View Up Here

In recent years, I've approached Advent at a breakneck speed, hyper-aware that I'm supposed to "do Advent" before I "do Christmas." The years I spent teaching and working for parishes were the ones I felt the most disconnected from Advent, ironically, because I was so busy preparing Advent liturgies, crafts, and activities that I missed out on the prayerful, silent, wintry season leading up to Christmas. (And let's not forget the excitement and stress of hurling myself across the NYS Thruway/MASS Pike every December to be home with my family.) The Moon getting ready for Advent (taken over my house this morning) The focus of Advent is to prepare for Christ in his Second Coming as well as commemorating the coming of the Second Person of the Trinity into Earth's history.  The liturgical season of Advent begins four Sundays before Christmas, and this year, it starts on Dec. 3, which means the Fourth Sunday of Advent falls on Christmas Eve, Dec. 24. In es...

Yesterday morning, my heart was heavy. So heavy I had a hard time getting out the door and to work. I know it's a symptom of depression, that kind of darkness. It was the 10th anniversary of my mother's death, and I felt the wound of loss more keenly than I have since that night in 2009. It was as if my body remembered exactly what it had felt like.  I made it just barely in time for one of our killer 2-hour staff meetings, got ready to attend a service fair at the local college, and ate two hotdogs for lunch (which NEVER HAPPENS, people!). At the last minute I invited our seminarian Steve to join me at the service fair, and happily he was able to. Having him for company was a boon; he is a nerd and a man of spiritual integrity, so we get on very well. Afterwards, we grabbed a bite to eat at the local Wegmans, then I had a decision to make:  do I go to choir practice or go home and sleep? I was absolutely exhausted in mind and body. Steve, who is also in the Tradition...

Mary helps us keep our eyes on Christ | Catholic News & Multimedia | Diocese of Rochester - Catholic Courier https://t.co/g19JMCE2Kk — Elena Cambio (@ElenaMCambio) January 17, 2019

The other day I was at a party at the home of dear friends of mine. One of the party-goers waited until we had all sat down with our paper plates of deliciousness and (I swear) waited for me to shovel a mouthful of food in, and then asked me, "So, as our only Catholic representative, what do you have to say about the ... terrible things going on...?"  It was a moment out of a cartoon, where everyone stopped talking all at once. You could hear a plastic spoon drop. I had inwardly prepared for this moment, because I do know well this particular group of friends. I responded evenly. I looked at him and said, "It's horrific. It's beyond-words-horrific. We need to do better. We will do better, because this is the Church Jesus Christ founded." Someone suggested the cause was "men priests" and others hinted at celibacy as the problem. I wound up the conversation by saying something about the deep need for reform on many levels (without getting into s...

Lord, deliver me from all that robs me of freedom and interior peace. Freedom from enslavement to my fears - not being good enough - being poor - being abandoned Freedom from enslavement to my cravings - food beyond nourishment - comfort instead of fulfilling responsibilities - distraction instead of openness to God's will in my life Freedom from enslavement to the demands of the world - busy busy busy busy busy busy busy - money money money money money money money Freedom from enslavement to status and power - gotta look good for others to judge - can't let anyone get the drop on me - gotta be in control - can't be caught looking foolish The enemy plies each and every one of these fears against me. Lord, deliver me from evil. Grant me freedom to embrace you in my daily life, the life of moments. Freedom to do what I ought - righteousness in the sight of the Lord yah, not my own righteousness the righteousness of Jesus Christ who transforms me ...

Dear Friends and Family, Please pray for the repose of the soul of Br. Justin Young, OSB. He died suddenly on Wednesday, April 4, from a brain hemorrhage. Also please keep in your prayers his family members, brother monks of Mount Saviour Monastery (Elmira), and all the Oblates and many friends of Br. Justin and the Monastery.  Brother Justin was a dear friend of mine and of many others who sought his deep prayerfulness, winning smile, outrageous laugh, and constant thoughtfulness. He was the Porter at Mount Saviour, greeting guests and preparing their morning meals for them. He also did a hundred other things of which I'm not even sure. He was a creative and a mystic at heart, and that's how our bond developed. He often sought me out after Mass and gave me some little encouragement, prayer, or intuition that had come to him regarding my own spiritual journey. I will treasure always a copy of St. Francis de Sales' Introduction to the Devout Life that Br. Justin ga...

Well you can't very well write about Good Friday and not write about Easter! I spent the weekend with a good friend in Binghamton, so am just getting around to writing a bit tonight. On my drive back from Binghamton, this prayer entered my heart: "Lord, let me see myself in the Light of Your Resurrection." Our ideas about our lives and our very personhood are too often determined by others, when the only Person who can speak who we are is God. A God who knows the realities of human existence, but who offers the final Word - LIFE. There is joy, humility and peace here. The joy of knowing that humanity is resurrected in Christ, and that by His stripes, I am healed.  I went to Easter Sunday Mass at my friend's church, and although I knew no one else besides my friend, I felt totally at home and welcomed. People had friendly faces and friendly spirits (oh that it were so in every Catholic parish!). But it soon became clear that we chose to sit near a family with ...

In my Good Friday tradition, I am starting my day with scripture. Yesterday at the Holy Thursday Mass of the Last Supper, we heard from the Gospel of John. Today, I'm reading the Gospel of Luke, in particular the Passion Narrative. Here's what has struck me this morning:  As they led him away they took hold of a certain Simon, a Cyrenian, who was coming in from the country; and after laying the cross on him, they made him carry it behind Jesus.   (Lk 23:26) I realized after meditating on this passage that for most of my life, whenever I heard the phrase "take up your cross," it evoked an image of me dragging the impossibly heavy burdens of life around the world on my own, with Jesus far off on a hilltop, looking down and giving me the thumbs up sign. I know, that's ridiculous.  But really, in a culture that emphasizes individualism and self-reliance, it's not too surprising that this is how many of us think of "taking up our crosses."  Lik...

I am waiting in the silence for Messiah, the One who saves, the One who is Love, to come into my heart. Ah! He is already here, yet He seeks even more of my heart.  This Advent I was wracked with mono (since October) as well as stomach flu (last weekend). At first I was angry: how unfair, why did this happen to me, why now? I was planning to go "home" to be with family on the South Shore of Boston for Christmas as usual, and as usual, the hype and stress of getting everything done before I hit the road for a 7 hour drive to stay at other people's houses (even people I love) was starting to ramp up. To give you an idea of how this feels: One night in the midst of stomach flu ickiness earlier this week, I was awake, sweating, feeling so horrible I almost felt out of my body. And that's where I met Jesus. "Accept everything." That's what my spiritual director had said in his voice mail message that morning. "Jesus I trust in You." It...

Months have passed since I've written here. Been writing and working full time in youth ministry, but at least I've thought about blogging. I'll hit on a particularly moving topic in my car or shower and  think "gotta blog about it" but it's forgotten in fifteen minutes. But I actually thought of something this morning before starting the day.  The terrorist attacker in NYC, killing eight people riding their bikes, has left us with a renewed feeling of vulnerability. We've amped up security in airports, government buildings, concerts, and in virtual spaces. Yet something as innocuous as a rental truck can wipe out human lives in five minutes or less. I've seen commentaries and declarations about how "unsafe" we are and how "vulnerable" people feel. Well... yes. Nothing has changed in one sense; we've always been vulnerable. The evil one is ramping up his game and instilling fear. That's a powerful tool. Fear causes peo...

I just finished a marvelous week with my family in Massachusetts and would be feeling refreshed if I weren't so tired. Actually, I do feel refreshed. My mind is clear and my spirit is refreshed, even if I need to go to bed earlier than my grand nephews' and grand niece's bedtime. However, I feel the need to blog since a couple things hit me during the past week that deserve airing. A close family member of mine is asking the tough questions about God, including, "If he's all-loving, why does God allow suffering of innocents?" The question was asked not as a philosophical exercise, but with righteous anger. Appropriately so. We should be angry at injustice and suffering. If we're not, we need to take Human lessons. Tonight as I was washing dishes in a daze, the answer rose up in my mind in a phrase: God allows suffering so that we can love. Allow me to 'splain. God has given humanity free will to either love each other or hurt each other. Thro...

In the last three weeks, my life has been turned a bit upside down. Life is change, as a former film prof of mine recently reminded me. I've never been particularly good with change. In the past, I've either resisted it and suffered immensely, or I've run away to start over -- only I'd bring all the old bag and baggage with me that was never dealt with.  In the midst of this current round of uncertainty and movement, I've been reminded that the appropriate response to any kind of big change is to offer up thanks and gratitude. But I know from my own experience that empty words of gratitude don't amend my heart, and they only end up tasting bitter rather than being sincere and true thanksgiving to God. I'd wager most people have experienced this at some point. I know of a few tender souls who struggle with it daily, in fact. The other morning as I sat on my porch with my morning coffee, watching the finches duke it out at the feeder, I felt the very ...

Friends,  I will be going to visit two more communities at the end of this month and beginning of June. They are the Religious of the Assumption and the Visitation Nuns . Both communities are beautiful. They are also quite different, although the founder of the Religious of the Assumption, St. Marie Eugenie, had her early formation in a Visitation monastery , so there is a connection as far as spirituality and charism. Neither community is Benedictine. They are both spiritualities of the heart (Religious of the Assumption being Augustinian, and the Visitation nuns being Salesian and the historical setting of the devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus). In the Benedictine charism I have found balance and a call to simplicity, openness and the desert spirituality. But... I may be seeking for more than that. A "feminine genius" as Pope Francis has named it, perhaps not found with the Benedictines as I have experienced them. I may find this elsewhere or I may discover it...

Fact: Fact: I prefer raspberry to orange Jaffa Cakes. I feel personally called to cover my head with a chapel veil when I am before the Blessed Sacrament. I am absolutely transported by singing and hearing Gregorian Chant.  If I do become a nun, I would like to wear a Habit of some kind. I would prefer that people offered Thanksgiving after Communion, if only the priest gave us time for that. I believe we need to Evangelize our "lukewarm" Catholics about the power and love of the Real Presence of Christ in the Blessed Sacrament. I am committed to one hour a week of Adoration before the Blessed Sacrament. I belive in Marian apparitions such as Fatima and Lourdes, and I believe in the power of prayer, especially the Rosary. I believe in St. Faustina's visions of Christ and the efficaciousness of the Divine Mercy Chaplet. I am Pro-Life. That includes educating against abortion and reducing the perceived "need" for abortion, and advocating for compass...

Another Purple Liturgical Season is upon us. I look out my window at Stella - Nor'easter Stella, that is, not my Aunt Stella, may she Rest in Peace *makes Sign of the Cross* and I think how fortunate I am that I got to:  a) work from home during the two days of this storm, and b) watch St. Francis measuring the powdery snow (not the heavy wet stuff that was predicted, thank you, Jesus). 3/14/17 at 9:18 a.m.                 3/15/17 6:32 p.m.   After getting my work done and filing my taxes today (yay, me!) I hopped onto Twitter and discovered an article that encapsulates many of my past ramblings. First, I'll hit you with a quote: If you can’t see God’s will in the present moment, right where you’re standing, and embrace it then and there, you’ll never discover it for the future. Now please go read the rest of the article here .   On Friday, I will take one more turn around the block of discerning a re...

2016 has rocked our GenX world as one pop icon after another has died and left a huge vacancy. For me, the moment of ENOUGH ALREADY didn't come until the death of Debbie Reynolds, a day after Carrie Fisher's passing. I truly thought it was some kind of bad joke when I woke up and read the headline, and my brain struggled with the seeming unlikelihood of it all - especially in light of the "fake news" that's been outed after the election. A small corner of my brain hoped it was another tabloid-esque false report even as I knew that if it's splashed all over BBC, CNN, Washington Post and FoxNews, it must be true. This morning I caught an article on the fake news of 2016 , and it got me thinking about how vulnerable we all are. The internet keeps us connected 24/7 with each other and the world, which has its light and dark side, as most things do. The light side:  knowing of injustice that we can then act upon, sharing pictures of family far away, sending em...

I know this isn't the most well-crafted piece I've ever written. I just need to get the thoughts out there. Thank you for reading. Trying to come up with a response to the election of Donald Trump as prez. It's not just about Trump, you see. It's about the backlash and the hate and the IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD and all the other negative feedback. I understand fully that people who voted for Hillary are in mourning. They feel that rights will be taken away from segments of our population, that healthcare will be decimated, that war will be inevitable. (I voted for neither of them, for my conscience would not allow it, and I live in a solidly Blue state anyway.) Trump's campaign was an ugly one. I'm no political scientist, nor do I play one on TV, but even a lay person like myself can see that people in this country have been unhappy and hurting for a very long time, and Trump keyed right into that. His inflammatory speeches and bold proclamations wh...

Today the Catholic Church celebrates the Feast of All Souls, when we remember our ancestors and all loved ones who have passed away. Not only do we remember them, we pray for them. Many other Christian churches do not pray for the dead, so what's up, Cat'lics?  Check out Fr. Mike Schmitz's explanation, then I'll add some thoughts: Yesterday, we celebrated the Feast of All Saints, when we take time to rejoice in the great "cloud of witnesses" who have gone before, leaving us examples of living discipleship, often with great teachings and music. These saints are now in heaven, praying for us. So everyone's praying for everyone. We're all connected through and in the Body of Christ. Just as we ask for prayer from each other, we ask the saints to pray for us. Another point that Fr. Mike references is that we should NOT EVER try to talk to the dead. That is a big no-no.  Consider this: 1. We are called to trust implicitly in God's mercy and love...

Much has happened in these last few months. Jesus has been whispering in my ear... In a nutshell, I am now the Confirmation and Adolescent Catechesis/Youth Ministry Administrator for the Elmira Catholic Churches. That's right - I'm back in Elmira, the place I despised for so many years. I came here to visit last summer, and the lure was instant - somehow it felt all glowy and attractive. Now that I'm here, the vibe is even stronger. I am where God has longed for me to be! My work is precious and wonderful, and my lifestyle is more beautiful than I could have imagined. I live at the bottom of a wooded hill, close to work. I can easily buy local produce, hit the Wegmans for necessities, walk along the river, hang out at Harris Hill to watch the gliders take off, and best of all, I am a few minutes' drive from Mount Saviour Monastery (Benedictine monks). Compline (Night Prayer) at Mount Saviour Monastery. The freedom I feel inside is indescribable and bea...

Monastery of St. Clare I am beginning the third week of my live-in at the Monastery of St. Clare. These two weeks were sadly interrupted by a trip back to Elmira this past week to attend the funeral of my dear Aunt Stella, who was 94. The emotion of processing her death, the weight of grieving, as well as the joy of seeing so many of my cousins I hadn't seen in years, all of it, was very overwhelming. Yesterday I took a quiet day at the monastery (not doing work during the work periods), and today being Sunday is also a quiet afternoon. Tomorrow I will be back to the regular horarium (schedule).  In the midst of all this, my relationship with Jesus is central. I am living the reality now that no matter what I am called to in this life, my relationship with Jesus is central. It's so easy to say those words, to nod and even say "Well...duh." But living that truth is the challenge of Christian life. In the sea of confusion, emotion, choices, and anguish is the ...