Monastery of St. Clare

I am beginning the third week of my live-in at the Monastery of St. Clare. These two weeks were sadly interrupted by a trip back to Elmira this past week to attend the funeral of my dear Aunt Stella, who was 94. The emotion of processing her death, the weight of grieving, as well as the joy of seeing so many of my cousins I hadn't seen in years, all of it, was very overwhelming. Yesterday I took a quiet day at the monastery (not doing work during the work periods), and today being Sunday is also a quiet afternoon. Tomorrow I will be back to the regular horarium (schedule). 

In the midst of all this, my relationship with Jesus is central. I am living the reality now that no matter what I am called to in this life, my relationship with Jesus is central. It's so easy to say those words, to nod and even say "Well...duh." But living that truth is the challenge of Christian life. In the sea of confusion, emotion, choices, and anguish is the call to ongoing conversion of constantly centering attention on Christ, not on the confusion, the emotion, the choices, the anguish. Bringing these things to Christ doesn't mean staring at them and demanding relief from God (then pinning God to the wall if we aren't satisfied with His answers). It means acknowledging these difficulties, bringing them to Christ and laying them at His feet, surrendering to Him, and then keeping our eyes on Him. That's intimacy, the desire of God for every one of us.

So how do I "look" at Christ? This is the essence of prayer, of mystical prayer. It is an inward gaze, deep within. It is also giving Him permission to be present in others, in my interactions with them, and allowing Him to be present in myself as I move and act and breathe in the world. 

Road leading up to the monastery.

Recently I had a short but spirited conversation with a priest. We were talking about the Church and people's spiritual lives. I lamented that people in my generation and older hadn't been formed (taught) anything other than rote memorization about how to be God's people. He disagreed and lamented that we need to get back to that (Baltimore Catechism-style) instead of the complete lack of formation that he sees in younger generations, including men entering seminary. I think these are two overlapping aspects of  a holistic formation that requires integration. 

I'll use a symbol for the Holy Trinity, as it is Trinity Sunday, to demonstrate how I visualize this.

Mind:  history, theology, catechism, Scripture

 

Spirit:  prayer, mystics'                                            Body: works of mercy, giving 

writings, Scripture, discernment (Ignatian)              time and effort, sharing experience

Ideally, these three areas overlap simultaneously, 

informing and deepening each area as we live more intentionally 

an integrated faith life.

When I was in Catholic schools, everything was rote memorization. Same thing for Confirmation class. And that was it. Where was prayer? Why didn't I learn about the loving God who desires me? Where was the focus on the spiritual life as relationship? I don't recall any of that being presented. Why weren't the mystics - Teresa of Avila, John of the Cross, Julian of Norwich, Francis of Assisi, Therese of Lisieux, Catherine of Siena - studied along with Church fathers? What a different experience my early formation would have been! I do recall one very moving retreat (senior year, I think) in which I did actually feel the movement of the Spirit. But that's a reflection with many years' hind sight. At the time, I didn't know what to do with that experience. It would have been helpful to have had an introduction to, say, Ignatian discernment. But alas, these saints, their wisdom and teaching, were only presented if at all as a collection of facts and dates.

https://stmaryssaskatoon.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/trinity-sunday2.jpg

God works in all ways, in all things, and nothing is impossible for God. I believe the Church is currently in a rebirth. The Church is fallible, and horrendous things have been done in and by Church leaders, consecrated and otherwise. I believe our Catholic Church is headed toward a resurgence of communities that will more closely resemble the early Christian communities. Community, prayer, and relationship will be emphasized over huge infrastructures and hierarchies. Don't get me wrong - we need leadership, and we need our Pope. But most of all, we need Eucharist. The Eucharist MUST be the center of our Church, whether we refer to local communities or the Universal Church. 

This morning's Trinity Sunday homily here at the monastery included a very important point: The Holy Spirit shares in what is Christ's, and what is Christ's is the Father's. The Spirit speaks what the Spirit has heard - the truth of Christ, the Father's truth. The Trinity is a mystery, with glimmers of understanding and deep reflection in our soul. But this union of Spirit, Son and Father is really what empowers our Church, not human thinking or striving, though human effort is needed if we are to participate in the Communion of the Trinity. 

What the Church is becoming is inspired by the Holy Spirit, so praying and being open to the movement of the Spirit - tested by Scripture - is our main responsibility in this becoming, just as it was the disciples' and Mother Mary's as they waited for the promised Spirit on Pentecost (which we celebrated last Sunday). And that's what we're called to, ultimately:  Communion with the Trinity. We are made in God's image, after all.