The View Up Here

A couple weekends ago, I went on a vocation discernment retreat with the Benedictine Sisters of Elizabeth, NJ. It was a beautiful weekend away, and I came home with a renewed intimacy with Jesus. I accept that as long as I am in the world serving in ministry, I need a monthly renewal retreat. That had been a long time coming after months of ministry with no time set aside for God alone outside the normal every day routines. I won't make that mistake again! I am still discerning my life path and listening. What is Jesus whispering to my heart? For now, I am in Elmira, praying and striving to be present as I help prepare young people for the Sacrament of Confirmation, hold a bi-weekly women's prayer group, and bring Holy Communion to the homebound. I am drawn to the woods, to quiet nature. I am drawn to water in any form - stream, brook, river, lake, ocean. I am drawn to silence and certainly to contemplative prayer. I am drawn to rhythms, seasons, pulses, not the unrelentin...

Over the past few months, I've had many interactions with friends of mine that go way back - 20, 25, even 35 years - and they have asked some very good questions about this whole "discerning a vocation" business. I also picked up that a few of them had some concerns, which is a natural reaction, I think, if the process and the spiritual life inherent in the process is unfamiliar to them. Not to mention the actual concept of monastic or religious life. And for some, me returning to the Catholic faith and wanting to live a life within that context has been troubling. With all this in mind, I figured it might be good to do an FAQ.  Please click on the links I've provided for more info on specific topics and experiences. If you have any other questions, please send me a comment. Thanks for reading! 1.   I have been discerning a religious vocation (to become a sister or a nun) for almost four years, now. In that time, I have met with several and very different re...

Life in a new city, a new job, a new home - all of this and more have kept me occupied and not blogging. The third week of Advent is well under way, and in a week's time, I'll be on a plane headed to the Land Where I Was Birthed for Christmas and New Year's Eve. Not only will I be visiting my dear family and friends, I will also be continuing my discernment by staying overnight at the Carmel in Concord, NH , and visiting with the Poor Clares of Boston , located in Jamaica Plain. (Incidentally, Jamaica Plain is where my parents first settled when they moved from Elmira, NY to Boston back in the early '50s.) A few words on the full-time job I've held since August - I'm the Office Manager for Mt. Calvary Catholic Cemetery in Salt Lake City, UT, working for the Catholic Diocese of SLC. Certainly not rocket science, but definitely a ministry - in more ways than I would've thought. I've come to see and know a deeper vein of human experience and suffering...

It's late (for me), and I'm tired, but I wanted to jot a few thoughts down. On Oct. 1 we celebrated St. Therese, and three days later on the fourth, we celebrated St. Francis. I sometimes wonder if I'm called to Franciscan spirituality. Is there such a thing as a Franciscan/Carmelite hybrid community? If there is one, please sign me up. Here in Utah, and at my job at the cemetery, I am surrounded by God's beautiful creation. I constantly hear Him calling me to "come outside and play (or pray)!" This has been the case since I was a child scampering in the trees and dashing through puddles in our yard on the South Shore. These days, I am quite literally living the vow of "Lady Poverty" I took 2 years ago (as well as obedience to God's will, and a celibate life of inclusive love). I live for daily Mass, for spending just a few moments with Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament every morning. Honestly, I couldn't get through my days without Him...

The journey of discerning God's will for me continues.  I still feel the draw to contemplative life, but I question it at the same time. Why? For one thing, I won't know until I actually am able to live the life in some kind of trial/live-in experience. There's still much about this journey that I'm not clear on because I just don't have enough first hand information, and that takes time. I know I want to be a consecrated religious, a little spouse of Jesus. That's about all I know for sure. Carmelite? Love love love Carmelite spirituality. Cloister? Not so sure. Franciscan? Love love love Franciscan spirituality. Active apostolate? Not so sure. I'm starting to understand on some level that what I desire is balance: contemplative and active apostolates in fruitful harmony.  "St. Francis Starry Night" by Sue Betanzos See (and buy) more of this artist's work here: http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/sue-betanzos.html And I feel that a...