The View Up Here

When God’s timing doesn’t seem to match our own, it can feel frustrating, maybe even like we’ve been abandoned by God. A good father doesn’t abandon his own, does he? In those moments, we must look to the promises God has made through his Word. Second week of Advent He promised that he is always near to us: “Our God is near us whenever we pray to him” (Deuteronomy 4:7) and “Those who love me will keep my word, and my Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. (Jn 14:23). Feeling crushed by the weight of circumstances, waiting for the solution to come or the resolution to be made clear, we can sometimes tighten our grip on the situation. However, the exact opposite is called for: to loosen our grip and surrender everything to Christ, trusting that he is with us, as he promised, “to the end of the age.” If we wait for his perfect timing, will will draw closer to him. And his solution is always so much more perfect than anything we could come up with! As ...

 In no particular order: 1. God is not "the universe" nor is the universe God. God is a personal being who is defined as Love and who has revealed himself as Trinitarian: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. This community of Love begets all of creation and all life. The "universe" doesn't create itself, nor does it reward you for being a good egg or making a vision board in your home office. 2. Putting man at the center of everything and relegating everything to man's thought is tantamount to declaring war on reality. "I think, therefore I am" (the foundational battle cry of rationalism and the un-deification of the Western World) means we create ourselves and our reality, which we do not, and that the human power to understand and manipulate the created world is the Ultimate Supreme (i.e. who needs a God and all those pesky morals?). The power of the mind to understand is posited as the only marker of humanness. Rather, "I exist, therefore I think...

Hopefully not the last, but pretty darn close, I'd imagine. This last weekend of summer has been very summery. Yesterday after T'ai Chi class (I got to teach, again!), I decided to go kayaking. But I wanted to take out a hard shell kayak rather than my inflatable because I figured water levels would be lower this time of year, and I didn't want to run afoul of my skeg (fin on the underside of the boat to help it track straight). I rented a big ole orange kayak from Bay Creek Paddling Center and headed first down Irondequoit Creek. The water was very calm, and yes, it was low, as the lady warned me when I registered my rental. I got to see schools of little fish, a turtle diving, and several common song birds. I did have to do some maneuvering to escape the people who chatter and talk while kayaking (as in, kay- YAK- ing); otherwise, a very peaceful little turn around the creek. I then headed out to the southern end of Irondequoit Bay that empties into the creek. It was her...

The answer, of course, is yes. Everyone around me seems so relieved that summer is over and can't wait for fall to look like fall. Not me. I barely noticed the summer months because I was immersed in discernment, decision making, and moving. I tried to move to Massachusetts, but interviews and trips out there notwithstanding, it didn't happen. In fact, I wasted a whole lotta time worrying about that. As if... as if Jesus weren't right here, as if God doesn't have a plan for me, as if he's not guiding me. I am sometimes haunted by the past, which as we know, doesn't exist. What God has forgiven, what right have we to keep dredging up? Renounce it and stay with God in the sacrament of the now. Ultimately, I made my peace with staying where I am with the parish in Elmira, but I did end up moving apartments (not without some drama involving mice, a parking ticket, and random weirdness in my new neighborhood - but that's for another post!). In June I mad...

I just finished a marvelous week with my family in Massachusetts and would be feeling refreshed if I weren't so tired. Actually, I do feel refreshed. My mind is clear and my spirit is refreshed, even if I need to go to bed earlier than my grand nephews' and grand niece's bedtime. However, I feel the need to blog since a couple things hit me during the past week that deserve airing. A close family member of mine is asking the tough questions about God, including, "If he's all-loving, why does God allow suffering of innocents?" The question was asked not as a philosophical exercise, but with righteous anger. Appropriately so. We should be angry at injustice and suffering. If we're not, we need to take Human lessons. Tonight as I was washing dishes in a daze, the answer rose up in my mind in a phrase: God allows suffering so that we can love. Allow me to 'splain. God has given humanity free will to either love each other or hurt each other. Thro...

In the last three weeks, my life has been turned a bit upside down. Life is change, as a former film prof of mine recently reminded me. I've never been particularly good with change. In the past, I've either resisted it and suffered immensely, or I've run away to start over -- only I'd bring all the old bag and baggage with me that was never dealt with.  In the midst of this current round of uncertainty and movement, I've been reminded that the appropriate response to any kind of big change is to offer up thanks and gratitude. But I know from my own experience that empty words of gratitude don't amend my heart, and they only end up tasting bitter rather than being sincere and true thanksgiving to God. I'd wager most people have experienced this at some point. I know of a few tender souls who struggle with it daily, in fact. The other morning as I sat on my porch with my morning coffee, watching the finches duke it out at the feeder, I felt the very ...

From a great article on what it means to be a mystic  (all emphasis mine) : What makes a mystic, well, “mystical”? Mystic and related words come from the Greek language — from the same word which gives us mystery and even sacraments. But the Greek root word, mueo, also gives us the English word mute. So a mystic is someone who enters the mystery of God. And a mystic also, and therefore, is someone whose spirituality is muted (in other words, profoundly silent) — which is to say it cannot even be put into words. It’s the silence of a monastery, understood not merely as the absence of sound (or thoughts, or words), but as an opening that allows us to discern the quiet presence of God.  A mystic, in the broadest and m[o]st humble sense of the word, is simply someone whose relationship with God is primarily contemplative. Someone who prays, and who prays silently, opening the heart to the presence of God , which cannot ever be fully put into words.  The author wisely...

2016 has rocked our GenX world as one pop icon after another has died and left a huge vacancy. For me, the moment of ENOUGH ALREADY didn't come until the death of Debbie Reynolds, a day after Carrie Fisher's passing. I truly thought it was some kind of bad joke when I woke up and read the headline, and my brain struggled with the seeming unlikelihood of it all - especially in light of the "fake news" that's been outed after the election. A small corner of my brain hoped it was another tabloid-esque false report even as I knew that if it's splashed all over BBC, CNN, Washington Post and FoxNews, it must be true. This morning I caught an article on the fake news of 2016 , and it got me thinking about how vulnerable we all are. The internet keeps us connected 24/7 with each other and the world, which has its light and dark side, as most things do. The light side:  knowing of injustice that we can then act upon, sharing pictures of family far away, sending em...

I don't do a lot with politics on this blog, but there are a few things I feel moved to say in this post-election, pre-Advent, almost-Thanksgiving season. Protesters are out in the streets with signs that declare "Not my president," while headlines blare "Trump's America." Here's a thought:  he is the president whether you like it or not. Be the light, be the love, don't leave it up to the president or anyone else. Will he do some damage to the country? Sure will. Just like every other president has done, some more overtly, some covertly. Will he do some good? Probably, just like even our worst presidents have done.  Do you have to like him? Of course not. But you do have to use your conscience and live your life according to the Law of Love -- well you don't HAVE to, but it really is the only way to a) keep your sanity, b) not alienate others, and instead c) educate with your life, love, and willingness to dialogue with others. Anot...

I know this isn't the most well-crafted piece I've ever written. I just need to get the thoughts out there. Thank you for reading. Trying to come up with a response to the election of Donald Trump as prez. It's not just about Trump, you see. It's about the backlash and the hate and the IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD and all the other negative feedback. I understand fully that people who voted for Hillary are in mourning. They feel that rights will be taken away from segments of our population, that healthcare will be decimated, that war will be inevitable. (I voted for neither of them, for my conscience would not allow it, and I live in a solidly Blue state anyway.) Trump's campaign was an ugly one. I'm no political scientist, nor do I play one on TV, but even a lay person like myself can see that people in this country have been unhappy and hurting for a very long time, and Trump keyed right into that. His inflammatory speeches and bold proclamations wh...

Today the Catholic Church celebrates the Feast of All Souls, when we remember our ancestors and all loved ones who have passed away. Not only do we remember them, we pray for them. Many other Christian churches do not pray for the dead, so what's up, Cat'lics?  Check out Fr. Mike Schmitz's explanation, then I'll add some thoughts: Yesterday, we celebrated the Feast of All Saints, when we take time to rejoice in the great "cloud of witnesses" who have gone before, leaving us examples of living discipleship, often with great teachings and music. These saints are now in heaven, praying for us. So everyone's praying for everyone. We're all connected through and in the Body of Christ. Just as we ask for prayer from each other, we ask the saints to pray for us. Another point that Fr. Mike references is that we should NOT EVER try to talk to the dead. That is a big no-no.  Consider this: 1. We are called to trust implicitly in God's mercy and love...

As 2015 comes to a close, I remember the joys, not the sorrows. I recall the unexpected blessings, not the disappointments.  I hold in my heart the sunrises over the Wasatch Mountains, the gift of the computer I'm typing on, my new friends in Utah whom I love, my old friends in New York and Massachusetts who have taught me lessons and supported me. I give thanks for the beauty of the ocean at sunrise here at Nantasket Beach where I stayed last night. I am exceedingly grateful for the foundation grant which will assist me in my student loan payments while I am in formation once I enter a religious community. I choose to focus on these blessings, not on the discomfort I may feel in the uncertainty of my future, my current lack of a "home of my own," and other factors.  Disappointments, discomfort and disarray are a part of life. There is nothing any of us can do to avoid this truth. The Buddha Dharma teaches that "Suffering exists." As a Catholic, I ac...

I'll start with this quote from Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P. (Dominican priest) from CatholicAnswers (website and radio). He's quoted as saying/writing: The Lord told us to ask for what we need—not because he doesn’t already know, but that we come to him in love, humbly acknowledging our complete dependence on him—and willingly accepting whatever and however he chooses to respond. The prayer of petition is a matter of loving trust and absolutely nothing else. To that I would add that God wants us to co-create with God. My charismatic community in L.A. taught me the phrase "agreeing in prayer," which means that we are agreeing with each other and with God's will (whatever that may be) for the best possible outcome - even if it's not the one we'd prefer. This acknowledges that God sees far more than we can in our limited scope, while offering ourselves as a community and individually to be God's presence to others in a difficult situation, as God longs ...

10 ways to love, according to the Scripitures. Dust off your #Bible and start loving! pic.twitter.com/Ct4kTSFaAT — CatholicLink English (@catholink) November 17, 2015 Loving is a way of being in the world, a disposition, and a choice. Similar in concept and practice are  The Four Agreements .

As it so happens, gentle readers, I am home from work after having my first root canal surgery, and I am taking some pretty good pain killers, so forgive me if my thoughts stray here. OTC ibuprofen doesn't seem to be enough to do the job, so 800 mg combined with acetaminophen and hydrocodone are in effect. As you can see, there have been some changes here - most notably my old domain "fred in the can" is gone. Time to put that one to rest; I've been using it with my films and writing since the mid-90s. The View Up Here is appropriate in more ways than one. I am living my life in a different way, from a different place, the Heart of Christ, plus I'm now living in Utah, which as the license plate boasts, is where one can live "life elevated." But, as most of you know, I prefer life at sea level. My visit home to Massachusetts for Christmas and New Year's was glorious. I was able to spend time with my family, and I had some time for discer...

From early October : I took a walk along the Jordan River (in Utah, not the Holy Land ), so grateful to be near a body of running water after 2.5 years of l iving in California's drought. This hymn spru ng to mind, and I had the good sense to jot it down. Water's Edge Today I prayed by the water's edge and sang to my Creator, Lover God. Into my heart I invited Him to rest his head and sing His songs to me. I asked Him for his grace and strength that I may suffer with and for his Son the realities of life worth living the path of merciful outpouring, emptying myself that I may be filled with Him alone.

If you've looked at the news in the last two weeks, besides Putin, Syria, Obamacare's deadline, the missing Malaysian jet and ocean full of garbage, the horrific mudslide in Washington, the Twitter campaign for #CancelColbert , and other important items, you may have noticed that California's earthquake "drought" is over. If only it were the water drought that's over. In all fairness, it's better to have several smaller earthquakes to release pressure than to have it all pop at once. Even so... I'm sure there's some post-modern theory as to why humans created a theme park ride about "The Big One." (Universal Studios "Earthquake!" ride) The three moderate earthquakes of the last 2 weeks are more than enough for yours truly. There is something surreal and wrong  about the earth and the building you're in moving under your feet. The violent shaking, creaking, swinging, rumbling is the most horrific experience of my ...