Zechariah's Song and the Secret of Success

As 2015 comes to a close, I remember the joys, not the sorrows. I recall the unexpected blessings, not the disappointments. 

I hold in my heart the sunrises over the Wasatch Mountains, the gift of the computer I'm typing on, my new friends in Utah whom I love, my old friends in New York and Massachusetts who have taught me lessons and supported me. I give thanks for the beauty of the ocean at sunrise here at Nantasket Beach where I stayed last night. I am exceedingly grateful for the foundation grant which will assist me in my student loan payments while I am in formation once I enter a religious community. I choose to focus on these blessings, not on the discomfort I may feel in the uncertainty of my future, my current lack of a "home of my own," and other factors. 

Disappointments, discomfort and disarray are a part of life. There is nothing any of us can do to avoid this truth. The Buddha Dharma teaches that "Suffering exists." As a Catholic, I acknowledge original sin and the effects it has on our hearts, minds, souls, and bodies, and on the world. The first thing to do is acknowledge that yes, this is a fallen world. Jesus never promised to whisk us away from our circumstances; He does promise that if we stay with Him, He is with us and will give us all He has - strength, hope, love, joy and peace. He wants to be our partner in life, "to shine upon those who sit in darkness and the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace." (Lk 1:79; Zechariah's Song)

This year I lived a roller coaster with regards to my vocation. I was heart broken when the places/ communities I was trying to force didn't happen. Because that wasn't God's will for me. Once I let go of trying to control the process, things started flowering. 

We tend to want perfection from ourselves and from each other. We force situations that aren't good for us. We tend to expect others to walk on eggshells around us so that we get what we think we need, controlling circumstances and forcing our own perspective on everyone around us. This, my friends, is a recipe for bitterness and isolation. 

This is the effect of original sin, a fallen world, or whatever you want to call it. I've seen and experienced so much of this in the last year that it hurts me to think about it. People jammed up into themselves so deeply that they can't even take the help that is available and offered, nor can they recognize how they are hurting others with their hostility. How many millions of people are walking around like this? 

And I'm no different. I used to be exactly like this, to the extreme. And I still have to fight the tendency toward this mindset. Perhaps we all do. But perhaps we can try in 2016 with prayer, mindfulness and a dedication to carving out some retreat time (even if only 10 minutes a day) to remembering and being thankful for our blessings, keeping God (in whatever way you envision God) in the forefront of our hearts instead of retelling and reinforcing our own personal stories of misery. Most circumstances are outside our control. What we can control is our attitude and our willingness to be still and listen to what God is speaking to us in each moment.

Fr. Pat at the Trappist Monastery in Huntsville, UT talks about the secret to success (that's what he calls it):

The secret to success is focusing on how well God is performing in your life, not on how poorly you/others are performing. 

The key to focusing on God is being grateful for the blessings you have. Gratitude. Sometimes it seems the only thing we have to be grateful for is waking up healthy and being barely able to do the day before us. But in that there is humility and an openness to receiving God's gifts throughout the day, letting God guide our feet into the way of peace.

My one and only "resolution" for 2016 is to keep God central in my vision. Not my faults, not the faults of others as I perceive them. Not on my own suffering or the circumstances that I must endure. Admit mistakes, give them to God, ask forgiveness through the Sacrament of Reconciliation, and then keep my eyes on Jesus, not on myself. Pray for the billions of others who have it worse than I do in any number of ways - persecution, starvation, homelessness, domestic violence, addiction and other mental illnesses, disease, war, terror, broken homes, and despair. 

Most of all, as 2015 comes to a close, I am grateful for my vocation. Here's to letting go and letting God. Happy New Year, all.