Religious Education Congress 2014

This year's theme was 'Hope: A World Afire!'

I'm winding down the weekend after an intense two days at the Religious Education Congress (Friday and Saturday). I only went for two of the three days, mainly because I needed my one day to stay home and gear up for the coming week. I day tripped to Anaheim for the event, which was more of a challenge with Friday traffic both going and coming home, but I definitely feel the 'conference high' even with the commuting and not making it for the last day (which was today). 

The sessions I chose back in December and got into (I had to choose my top 3 for each period) seemed to interlock with an ever-unfolding message of forgiveness, reconciliation and God's Love. In fact, it would appear that this Lent, the journey I'm taking with Yeshua is one of forgiveness. 

Friday

I arrived frazzled from rush hour and Disneyland traffic (the Anaheim Convention Center is across the street from California Adventure Park), then hit the crowd of 25,000 Catholics registering and picking up their name tags. I wondered if this is how it felt in Jerusalem on Passover in the time of Yeshua.

The view from the third floor balcony of the Anaheim Convention Center

First Period Session:  Temptation, Suffering, and Forgiveness. Dr. Greer Gordon spoke on the need for letting go of resentment, and the relationship between resentment and suffering. She challenged us to give our resentment up to the Holy Spirit to heal, to acknowledge where we are stuck, and she pinned down those self-righteous Catholics who seem to resent the poor and/or the commandment Yeshua and our current Pontiff give us to take care of our brothers and sisters. I think she was a little harsh with that, but I know the social justice movement is very passionate about that issue, and I could tell it came from a very good place. This was the perfect "getting my feet wet" session, and right off I was faced with the notion of acknowledging resentments and forgiving those I resent. So who do you suppose I resent more than anyone?

Second Period Session:  Was supposed to be held by Fr. Richard Fragomeni, but he was apparently too ill to travel, so Dr. Paul Ford graciously took his place. The title of the session was Divination: The invitation of the Eucharist to Communion of Life and Love with God. Dr. Ford took us on a journey through the Mass itself, pointing out how time is fluid as we pass from present to past (reading the Word) to future (Eucharist - the Wedding Supper in heaven) and back to present. In his talk, he was witty and surprised me with his candid invitation for us to come "dressed up" to Mass so that we can "take it all off" at Communion. Of course he was speaking metaphorically, but the idea of the veil being lifted to be united with Christ in Communion is nothing new under the sun. Eucharist is about Union. 

At the time of transubstantiation in the Mass, we the congregation are being offered to the Father as a living sacrfice in union with the Son, and it is through this union that we are, in a sense, transubstantiated - divinized. Further, Dr. Ford made the connection that in our daily lives, every flat surface is an altar where we can offer ourselves as living sacrifices to the Father - our desk, tub, bed, keyboard, dashboard, etc., and offer ourselves for everyone. This is about transformation of our daily lives into the Kingdom of God. 

He also encouraged us after Communion to recognize that Yeshua (Jesus) is beside us, like the Bridegroom next to the bride at the wedding (in mystical theology, the soul is feminine, the bride, as in Song of Songs). So there you are, sitting with God. Talk to Him. Listen to Him.

After that invigorating talk, I had a lovely lunch with my colleagues at the high school where I teach. Tuna sandwiches, chips, cookies, fruit, water, all on the sunroof of the Hilton.

Then came the highlight of the entire day.

Third Period Session:  Praying with Scripture by Fr. James Martin. Fr. Martin is a well-known Jesuit priest and theologian with a flair for social media. He's written scores of books, including his latest Jesus: A Pilgrimage and the Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything. He is also the official chaplain of the Colbert Report. Fr. Martin led us through two Ignatian forms of prayer: lectio divina and a type of imaginative prayer where you imagine yourself IN a scene from scripture, letting the Holy Spirit lead your senses and interactions within the scene. 

The passage he chose for us to place ourselves in was the scene of the loaves and fishes, where Yeshua multiplies the fish and bread for thousands to eat. Since I pray like this often, I had no trouble entering into the scene myself, but the results of the prayer floored me completely. 

I ended up with a "two parter" meditation, first as myself in the scene, and then as Philip. I knew immediately what this was about: His calling me to Himself in a religious vocation, and His gentle chiding about my worries concerning student loan debt holding me back from this vocation. I won't get into a lot of detail here, but it's sufficient to say that this meditation was a very strong message of AFFIRMATION and a call to simply do what He asks, giving what I have to give, and trusting that he will do the rest. Amen!

After the session with Fr. Martin, I more or less made a beeline to where he was to be signing books. I didn't drag my heels, but I also didn't knock anyone over getting down there. I waited in a moderately short line and had my few moments with the man, himself to sign my book. I even told him briefly of my mediation. He was warm and thanked me for sharing my little story. Whatta guy.

Fr. Jim Martin and yours truly with his new book

When I left, the line snaked around and around toward the doors to the Exhibition Hall! From there I tweeted and emailed this photo to a few people, then I grabbed some dinner before everything shut down at 5:00. I should've stayed for one of the several Masses that were being said at 5:15, but I was feeling antsy about getting on the road before the worst of the rush hour was in full force, so I headed home.

Saturday

Much less traffic on a Saturday morning, but a huge line getting into the parking structure. I flipped on the radio just to ease my jitters, and the song that came on was one I'd never heard before. The lyrics blew me away, considering the themes that were flowering throughout the conference in my own heart. The song is called "Make Me Lonely," by the Sidewalk Prophets. I was going to write more about it here, but I will wait for a separate blog post. For now it's enough to say that this song is all about recognizing that the suffering God allows us to experience is a kind of refining fire that draws us back to Him. Again with the refining fire motif this Lent.

Anyway...

Fourth Period Session: Scandalous Love: You can't get away from a love that won't let you go by Rev. Terry Hershey. Hershey is an amazingly down to earth, funny, insightful speaker. Oh, and he's Episcopalian, a fact which I love because he may as well be Catholic, which infers that we are all one Church despite our divisions. Oh, and a nod to my friends at St. Jude's in Burbank - I got his narthex joke because of my time spent at an Anglican church. Anyway, his impassioned presentation centered around that scandalous scene in Luke's Gospel where the sinful woman crashes a pharisee's party to weep at Yeshua's feet, wash them with her tears, dry them with her hair, then kiss and anoint them with perfume. This was an unbelievable act of intimacy and vulnerability. Yeshua rebukes the pharisee, Simon, who of course is bent out of shape about her presence, her actions, and Yeshua's seeming ignorance of "what kind of woman she is." But more than that, Yeshua invites us to be that woman - no shame, no walls, only love poured out for Love. 

Rev. Hershey had us move into pairs or groups of 3 or 4 to discuss what labels we use for ourselves that keep us from experiencing the Love of Messiah, and also to explore how grace is poured out to us continually in an invitation to experience this love. His thesis was that most of us don't even recognize or see that grace when it is poured out on us, because we use our labels to keep ourselves shut off.

The woman I was paired with, Darlene from Arizona, turned to me and immediately told me that in her culture (Native American) everyone is constantly affirmed by elders from birth through death with the phrase "shiwah shiyazhe" which loosely translated means "my child." She said it with such purpose, looking into my eyes, that I knew this WAS grace immediately flowing from God through her to me, a blessing. God telling me "you are my child, you are mine." 

This is part of my journey - the journey of forgiveness of myself, the affirmation that not only has He called me for a special purpose (as God does EVERY person on the planet), but that I do not need to feel ashamed for anything I've done in the past, because I am His child. His playful little child.

Fountains in front of the Convention Center

Fifth Period Session: Attuning Ourselves to the Fire, the Heartbeat of Christ: Exploring a Rich Mystical Image. As you can imagine from the title, this session is right up my alley. Rev. Ronald Rolheiser is another prolific author and theologian, but unlike Fr. Martin, his public persona is much more subdued. Nevertheless, I took the most notes during his talk. It was almost like being in graduate school again. I wondered if my cartridge fountain pen would run out of ink by the middle of the presentation. 

Rev. Rolheiser spoke about the Gospel of John, the mystical Gospel, in which the beloved disciple lays his head on the breast of Messiah after the supper. There is so much imagery, symbolism and meaning embedded in the gesture that it's impossible to delve into it all here in this limited format. The main idea, though, in reading the Gospel of John is that WE are invited to be that beloved disciple. Rolheiser also spoke about Mary of Magdala as the bride from the Song of Songs, seeking her Beloved, and finding Him on Easter morning, and how again we are invited to be as she is. So there are multiple ways to enter into the text and experience the depths of the mystical text. And yes, if it all sounds erotic, it most definitely is (as the Song of Songs most certainly is). As Rev. Rolheiser said, "mystics love eros."

To examine how to live out this Gospel, Rolheiser zeroed in on the two questions of the Gospel: In the first chapter, the would-be disciples of Messiah ask "Where do you live?" and instead of answering, Jesus answers "Come and see," and leads them on the journey of his ministry and their becoming. At the end of the Gospel, when Mary of Magdala sees Him in the garden (here Rolheiser reminds us what gardens are... places where lovers meet), she doesn't recognize him and thinks him to be the gardner.  He asks here "What are you looking for?" She answers that if he's taken the body of her Master, to please give it to her. Then he says her name, "Mary." She now knows who He is and who she is: she is His. 

And so, we are meant to go through our lives letting Yeshua show us where God lives (in ourselves, in others, in situations, in sunsets, in tears...) and then we are to show Yeshua were we live - where we hurt, where we need to be healed. In other words, to be vulnerable.  When we do, we allow Him to enter in and free us from the mourning and loss of sin. Because we are already forgiven, now the healing must happen, and when we realize we are resurrected WITH HIM, we live a new life.

Oh, there was a LOT more to his talk, but I need to be brief. After I finish Fr. Martin's book, I will be picking up Rev. Rolheiser's new book, Sacred Fire - A Vision for a Deeper Human and Christian Maturity, in which he writes among other things about John's Gospel and Mary of Magdala. When I went up to him to ask him if he had a book upon which the talk was based, he appeared almost shy, and said the talk was really cobbled together from many shorter pieces he'd written, but then almost as an after-thought he suggested his book. 

At that point in the afternoon, I was filled to capacity. I needed to take some down time, so I skipped the sixth period and instead went to the Sacred Space chapel and sat with the Blessed Sacrament for awhile. It was an incredible experience to feel the love in that room - people's love for God, and God's love for us. It was almost tangible. One of the most memorable few moments of the entire weekend.

After that I finally had a chance to check out the Exhibit Hall. It was absolutely teeming, so I had to put aside my East Coast "jammer" through the crowd mode (to use a roller derby reference) and just go with the flow. I spoke with a few people I knew, including my spiritual director who was there with her order, the Sister Disciples of the Divine Master. Finally, I wound down and headed outside for some needed fresh air. I decided to go to the Contemplative Mass at 5:15, and it was perfection.

I had in mind the parts of the Mass and the "time travel" that Dr. Ford had elucidated in his talk, which deepened the experience. Mind you, this was a Mass for hundreds of people in one space (maybe more - I'm a poor evaluator of these kinds of things). What a blessing it was to worship with so many brothers and sisters. And my Communion Meditation was clear (the time I spent sitting next to the Bridegroom, again to borrow Dr. Ford's image)...

The "Big Picture"

I have been moving through these last two years awash in God's untamed Love, but unable to truly receive all He is giving me - the thousands of blessings large and small - because deep inside there is a feeling of not being worthy of the Gift. The person I needed to forgive, the person I resented, was myself. My mistakes. My errors. The past. All being exploited to keep me from recognizing grace where it lives in my life. 

The labels I've used for myself have most definitely been preventing me from receiving the Gifts in full. This is how and why I tend to see past the multitude of amazing things in front of me to focus on the dark smudge on the horizon that may or may not be bad news coming. This is how I feel God in prayer and know Him in my heart, and yet often fail to see Him in the loving touch, voice, generosity and laughter of my community of friends and loved ones, of opportunities and situations that allow them to touch me, and me to touch them. I am grateful for these things and people, but I don't necessarily see them as being GOD'S GRACE calling me deeper into the Body of Christ. And consequently, I can't see MYSELF as God's grace in other people's lives.

I've lived most of my life feeling isolated and shut off from others, which might surprise some people, but perhaps it shouldn't surprise them too much. It's a thing I do. I've always done it. But with the healing of the Holy Spirit and the guidance of Yeshua, I am coming more and more fully into Communion.

This experience at Congress was more than just learning new stuff and chatting with famous theologians. Early this morning, I woke up to an email from my dear former roommate, who having chatted with me last week during her stay about my travails and concerns, suggested that I wasn't seeing the "big picture" of what God has been and is doing in my life. She was 100% correct, and her comments helped me to put it all together, that is, everything that came to me throughout the weekend in the talks, the quiet moments, the music, even the impromptu meet-ups with some of my nun and sister friends. I am feeling refreshed and revivified, and I am feeling hopeful. A hope fueled by grace and love, not wishes or wanting. A hope because I am Resurrected with Messiah. I am Loved despite what I've done, what I do, what I will do, and I am called to be His no matter what - that's my identity. That's grace.

Hope: A World Afire!

And that, my friends, is one long blog post. If you made it to the end, congratulations. And thank you for being God's grace in my life. I hope something here has inspired you - read one of the books or authors I've mentioned, and please open yourself to the journey that God is calling you on this Lent.

Bella luna over Anaheim