Mercy for all-ish

Is mercy really for EVERYONE? 

The recent kurfluffle over the Pope's meeting with Kim Davis has demonstrated to me that despite claims of being tolerant and open-minded, some of us are only willing to display mercy to those who are in alignment with our views. 

First of all, if you're not up on this issue, read this clarification on what actually did and did not take place. Also, feast your eyes on this gem of an article by Robert David Sullivan for America Magazine that warns us of more of this kind of incendiary and wildly inaccurate reporting in presidential campaign coverage to come. Oh, yay.

If you don't feel like reading all that, here are a few salient points:

• The Pope met with dozens of people in what amounted to an assembly line-type of visit, including Kim Davis. Davis described her 15 minutes with the Pope as a private meeting. It was not. 

• The Pope DID have an audience with an old friend of his, who happens to be gay, and his friend's partner. I would say that speaks pretty loudly that the Pope's message of mercy, dialogue and relationship is vastly different from and not to be confused with Davis' cry of self-rightousness, disregard for her elected duty, and complete refusal to honor the separation of church and state.

• In the grand scheme of the entire world, in its suffering and life-or-death situations, this woman and her political machine grasping for their 15 minutes of fame (NB: why would a Pentecostal even care about receiving the blessing/backing of the Pope?) are itty bitty potatoes to the Vatican. The fact that the Vatican had to turn around and clarify a non-issue for blood-thirsty American media hype probably felt like having to swat away the persistent mosquito that makes everyone swear under their breath at the family reunion barbeque.

Where is the mercy?

I was left with a bad taste in my mouth after reading all the negative hype in articles and opinion pieces, and witnessing and even participating in on-line discussions. I found that those journalists and "lay people" seemed more than happy to make their own assumptions and resulting invectives about the time the Pope spent with Davis. There was a lot of questioning the Pope's motives/validity/humanity/leadership because of this alleged "meeting." It's good to question and to discuss, of course; it's necessary for our mutual understanding and participation in government. But what I read wasn't mere questioning and certainly wasn't welcoming of any actual dialogue, despite the declarations of not wishing to offend. 

Ground Zero Interfaith Prayer Service for the victims of 9/11

In the present case, it was stated by one ex-Catholic online that the Pope must support Davis de facto because he opposes marriage equality (paraphrased) and that the Church should just admit to this meeting rather than expecting us to believe he wasn't offering his support of her stance and her choices. Another former Catholic also stated that the Vatican was insulting our intelligence by not owning up to this meeting.

These comments really got under my skin. I had to think about why. Here's what I've come up with:

1. Comments like these posit a clear US vs THEM polarity, where there is nowhere for dialogue or understanding to take place, since the only "correct" position is that of the "US." 
2. It also assumes/associates anyone who questions or opposes same-sex marriage for any reason or from any background (Christian or otherwise) with Davis' agenda and modus operandi. Again, this obliterates any opportunity to try to understand another position.  
3. Lastly, the emphasis on having one's intelligence insulted posed a very condescending tone to the other participants (or would-be participants) in the thread with differing perspectives. Great for looking down one's nose at others, not so great for establishing dialogue that seeks understanding and common ground.

As humans who have built societies over thousands of years, we understand ourselves in relation to other humans (and other societies). When we decide there is nothing to talk about, only to assume our own moral and intellectual superiority, we sin against ourselves and those we reject. This is, by the way, a lesson that the Catholic Church herself has learned (and still is) the hard way. It's a shame some of her most bitter critics would not do the same.

"I learned it by watching you!"

*you're, not your

What I read in those scathing op-eds, mindless Facebook memes, and in online forums full of snarky bickering was precisely what the American populace is enduring from our own government. It is actually the climate in which we live: People positioning themselves to be the moral and intellectual authority, who are only willing to engage those with whom they disagree so that they can tell them how stupid/wrong/sinful/backwards they really are.

It has become about "winning" and proving the other "wrong" by posturing, citing non-researched "facts," and being mean-spirited. Words and tone are used to demonize the other perspective and cast the perceived opponent into the cauldron of knuckle-dragging, narrow-minded fill-in-the-blanks. That isn't healthy debate that produces common ground; that is public, intellectual masturbation, and it has the capacity to shut down real dialogue and promote intractable thinking. Not to mention, it can be just downright hurtful. In short, it is unmerciful. (NB: I am not saddling one political or religious contingent with this; I've seen this tactic used from all sides and in several venues, and even from people who I know to be otherwise generous.)

Not all who claim they want dialogue and mercy seem willing to allow it to flow to those who don't agree with them on 100% of their world view. Pope Francis calls the Church and the world to express mercy to ALL BEINGS, human and animal alike, including Kim Davis, whether or not you like them. Sort of, you know, what Jesus meant when He said, "Love your enemies." 

Take away

Last thing. There were those who declared that the Pope's minutes with Davis essentially wiped out and negated his four days of reaching out to us as Americans and calling us all to unity and building a better world. I am sad that people would actually give Davis so much power as to CHOOSE to view her stunt as more weighty and impactful than the Pope's message to us all. However, I am also not naive, and I see that those who are ready to pounce on the Pope or Catholicism in general are going to take every opportunity to take a stab at him and us. And you know, haters gonna hate. We've known this for thousands of years.

As Christians and Catholics who profess belief in an almighty, forgiving God, we know that there will always be haters. Christ told his disciples when he sent them out to preach and heal that there would be those who rejected them as He himself was rejected. He also predicted that living life as His follower wouldn't be easy. In this case I am not referring to Davis; I'm talking about anyone who lives according to His greatest commandment:

Love one another as I have loved you. 

Mercy for all. You may not agree with everyone, you may despise someone, and someone might even be an offensive, brutal person - but we are all human, and we are all sinners. No one has the right to judge another (let he who is without sin cast the first stone). What we are required to do is have mercy. That doesn't mean that "anything goes" as far as behavior, but it does mean that we restrain ourselves from judging other human beings as being worthy or unworthy of receiving mercy, no matter where we are coming from on any side of any issue. It means that we respectfully disagree with one another but find solutions to our common problems and questions of how to live together.

Conflict is inevitable in human discourse, and some researchers of human behavior have declared it to be essential, because it is often part of the process of identifying problems, testing and assessing one's own self and positions, and figuring out how to interact with others. However, conflict between disagreeing parties needs to be tempered by valuing the other. Eventually, this valuing of the other can lead to an understanding that we are all in this together as we find ways to disagree, agree, act, and in some cases find ways to live peacefully in our disagreements.

This entails the very things that Pope Francis is calling us to:  Mercy, Dialogue and Understanding. You don't have to be a Catholic or even believe in God to participate in this very humane way of treating each other.  You DO have to enter into dialogue with respect and with the intention of taking a step toward mutual understanding. Otherwise, it's just a bunch of hurtful hot air, and the world certainly doesn't need any more of that.

(edited for clarity and formatting 10/13/15)