Nota Bene

I really have changed - even more than I thought I had - from just a few short years ago. I'm done with people's head games and selfish behaviors. I'm no longer the "make other people happy and keep the peace, no matter if it means my needs aren't being met" type of gal my mother raised me to be. I used to let other people (friends, enemies, family, authority figures, lovers) call the shots of what my relationships with them were all about, and I'd give them the power of validating my life by seeking approval. Even if they were the lowest form of human waste on the planet, I'd give them some of this power when I was younger. And of course some of those people (not always because they meant to or wanted to hurt me), used that power.

I just realized how angry that makes me, and how I don't put up with that bullshit any more. I am so much more at ease with who I am. I don't placate anyone or seek approval or play games to keep them around in the delusion that I need them to validate my existence. This a realization I came to rather startlingly fast in response to something unexpected this afternoon. It's good to be able to put words to it.