A Litany to Freedom

Lord, deliver me from all that robs me of freedom and interior peace.

Freedom from enslavement to my fears
- not being good enough
- being poor
- being abandoned

Freedom from enslavement to my cravings
- food beyond nourishment
- comfort instead of fulfilling responsibilities
- distraction instead of openness to God's will in my life

Freedom from enslavement to the demands of the world
- busy busy busy busy busy busy busy
- money money money money money money money

Freedom from enslavement to status and power
- gotta look good for others to judge
- can't let anyone get the drop on me
- gotta be in control
- can't be caught looking foolish

The enemy plies each and every one of these fears against me.
Lord, deliver me from evil.
Grant me freedom to embrace you in my daily life, the life of moments.

Freedom to do what I ought
- righteousness in the sight of the Lord

yah, not my own righteousness
the righteousness of Jesus Christ who transforms me
with His Body and Blood

- fearlessness in the face of persecutions

Freedom to be myself with you, O Lord
- no masks, no pretend saintliness
- no lies about what I do and how my life
impacts the lives of others
- accepting responsibility for my choices

Freedom to GIVE IT ALL to you, O Lord.
The good, the bad and the ugly. Also the beautiful and the sincere.
The tender and the gruff. The falling down and the getting back up.

Freedom to look at you, Jesus, not at my own faults and failings.
For therein lies true freedom and your Peace beyond all understanding:
Not that I have loved you, but that you have loved me.

Paper chains, indeed.

Summer of Love

I just finished a marvelous week with my family in Massachusetts and would be feeling refreshed if I weren't so tired. Actually, I do feel refreshed. My mind is clear and my spirit is refreshed, even if I need to go to bed earlier than my grand nephews' and grand niece's bedtime. However, I feel the need to blog since a couple things hit me during the past week that deserve airing.

A close family member of mine is asking the tough questions about God, including, "If he's all-loving, why does God allow suffering of innocents?"

The question was asked not as a philosophical exercise, but with righteous anger. Appropriately so. We should be angry at injustice and suffering. If we're not, we need to take Human lessons.

Tonight as I was washing dishes in a daze, the answer rose up in my mind in a phrase:

God allows suffering so that we can love.

Allow me to 'splain. God has given humanity free will to either love each other or hurt each other. Throughout human history, we've continuously chosen to hurt each other. In big ways and small. In personal slams and international affairs of state.

Yet in every situation, we have a choice. Do we do like God and love (e.g. not judging but listening, not lashing out but taking time to pray, not digging in one's heels but working with others for solutions, not complaining but accepting with trust, not seeking vengeance but forgiving) or do we do like the evil one and fear, hate, cheat, complain bitterly, and waste time, talent and treasure (a.k.a. sin). We have that choice. Every one of us, every moment, no matter what. There is always a choice.

When we choose evil, others are hurt. Personally, internationally, and generationally. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. Evil is perpetuated (original sin) and continues on down the line. Now, God could step in and eradicate our free will, forcing us to do good, to do right, to be like God. To love God.

Since when is forcing anyone to love you considered real love? Cause that's what it would be if God took away our free will and made us love him and each other. It would't be love. God doesn't want slaves or robots or mindless adorers. God wants us as he made us to be - capable of choosing him, of choosing love, of accepting grace to evolve and grow.

Okay, but what about the Holocaust? The Rwandan and Armenian Genocides? The Syrian refugees? The starving multitudes in third world countries? God lets them suffer so that everyone gets a choice?

It has never been God's design for anyone to suffer. Period. We live in a fallen, imperfect world. We inflict this suffering on each other through our individual, collective, current and historical choices. But God has not abandoned us to this fallen world of suffering and death.

God's grace floods into every place and every situation and every person. If we cooperate with grace, we will find a solution to those problems. We will at least try. Those who have tried are the saints and heroes of history. In the midst of horror and evil, people have chosen to do the right thing and be loving. That is God's presence in the world, through us. Incarnational spirituality. He's waiting for us to accept the grace that is constantly offered through Jesus Christ for us to make those choices for life, for love.

If God eradicated all evil and placed us in a stasis of mindless obedience and adoration, we would not have that choice. We could not love.

Love isn't a feeling, love isn't having our needs met, love isn't using your or another's body to escape pain, and love is definitely not all wrapped up in clover. Love empties itself. If it doesn't, it's not love. Love empties itself completely and totally, in complete self-gift to the other. As Jesus did for us. He was innocent, and he allowed himself to suffer immensely, to be tortured and to die, so that we could live in Eternity with the Triune God, the Community of Love. The gates of death have been destroyed. But only through the suffering of Jesus. And through Christian Baptism, we are called to die with Christ and then to rise to new life with him.

God brings goodness out of the pain and suffering that we experience - he doesn't leave us alone, even if it feels like he does sometimes. Jesus is with us in suffering, because he suffered like us and he promised to be with us to the end of the age. One of my favorite lines right now is this: "God writes straight with crooked lines." 

The human story isn't over. The end result of human suffering is not fully known. But we can be assured that we are being empowered to love, should we choose to, and that God never abandons us.

Next time: Wasted suffering. Or, "why me, why now?" Or, "why does Luke Skywalker whine so much?"

Not Trump's America

I don't do a lot with politics on this blog, but there are a few things I feel moved to say in this post-election, pre-Advent, almost-Thanksgiving season.

Protesters are out in the streets with signs that declare "Not my president," while headlines blare "Trump's America." Here's a thought:  he is the president whether you like it or not. Be the light, be the love, don't leave it up to the president or anyone else. Will he do some damage to the country? Sure will. Just like every other president has done, some more overtly, some covertly. Will he do some good? Probably, just like even our worst presidents have done. 

Do you have to like him? Of course not. But you do have to use your conscience and live your life according to the Law of Love -- well you don't HAVE to, but it really is the only way to a) keep your sanity, b) not alienate others, and instead c) educate with your life, love, and willingness to dialogue with others.

Another thought:  it's only "Trump's America" according to the media. Have you already given up all hope and given over to rage and anti-personism? (I just made that word up but I think it fits.) Will you point the finger at everyone and scream blame and injustice and with a smug air declare yourself better than anyone who voted for him for any reason? Hm. How is that helping, exactly? 

(I also happen to think that the media and the now-outed false news sites have stoked the fires that Trump was more than happy to capitalize on in order to become some kind of folk hero and get elected. But that leans outside the scope of this post.)

I've begun a prayer practice of opening to the psalms every morning and reading which ever one(s) presents itself. Even if it is one of the not-so-uplifting psalms, I read it and pray with it. St. Benedict designed the original Psalter so that within one week, his monks (and later, nuns) would have read all 150 psalms. That includes the not-so-joyful ones, the ones calling for vengeance, the lamentations, as well as the ones glorifying God, giving thanks, and praising God with all of Creation. I've adapted this idea to my lay woman's prayer life. 

I read whatever the Holy Spirit puts in front of me, even if it's not "comforting" in the sense of mac and cheese or hot cocoa. It always ends up speaking to something and allowing me to confront an idea of mine that needs to be surrendered, or reminding me to trust in the only One who is constant.

This morning, it was Psalm 36*, which my psalter intros as "reflections on good and evil." Check it:

5 Commit your life to the Lord,

trust in him and he will act,

6 so that your justice breaks forth like the light,

your cause like the noon-day sun.

The entire psalm urges us not to worry about what the wicked are doing, because God's got this. Our job is to trust in God, live righteous lives in surrender to God's love, and wait expectantly for God's mercy. It doesn't urge us to kill in the name of God, or fight back against those who respect neither God nor human life. 

God knows that we get angry when we see what we perceive to be evil and injustice, and Jesus teaches us to be with the oppressed and downtrodden, to provide for their needs. He never once indicated through his actions or words that our job is to make the bad guy pay. That's something we invented. It's every movie you've seen in which the bad guy or girl gets their comeuppance. It's the law of karma, right? The evil should have to suffer for what they've done.

Except. It's not our job to inflict suffering on anyone, nor to judge anyone. There is only one Judge, and that's God.

The psalm goes on:

30 The just man's mouth utters wisdom

and his lips speak what is right;

31 the law of his God is in his heart,

his steps shall be saved from stumbling.

This paints a picture of someone who speaks truth and abides by the law of God written in the heart. This saint walks with God and by focusing on this relationship with God, he avoids sin and the near occasion of sin. There is a security in this, that even in the midst of suffering, God will guide the soul of such a one to remain in God's love, rather than stumbling into the bailiwick of the wicked - hate, violence, brutality, lying, stealing, cheating, and all the rest of it.

We are reassured that although the wicked will flourish on the earth, theirs is not an everlasting reign. The Adversary and his followers are extremely powerful, but they will not have the final say. Stay true, let God hold your hand, surrender to God's ever-more powerful grace, and Be the light (Mt. 5:14) 

23 The Lord guides the steps of a man
and makes safe the path of one he loves.
24 Though he stumble he shall never fall
for the Lord holds him by the hand.

*A quick note about language:  Coming from the original Hebrew and with an older translation, the text uses masculine pronouns, but don't let it bog you down.