Lighting a candle for 2016

Normally around this time, I do a wrap up of the year in my own life and estimation. Although I don't remember if I did one last year. Anyway, I'm resuming the tradition. 

After spending the Christmas holiday with my family, I arrived home last night to find a pile of Christmas cards awaiting me in the mail box. I had anticipated this and was delighted to open cards from friends and family in other states as well as right here in Elmira. What I wasn't prepared for was a letter tucked into a card from my friend Fr. David, a Trappist in Utah. His letter held some sad news, including the death of their Guestmaster, lay brother Michael. Michael was my first contact at Holy Trinity Abbey, where I spent many a retreat weekend during my year in Salt Lake City, and we had quickly become friends. I will always remember his New Jersey baritone, "We all love you, honey. We're praying for you." 

So last night after doing laundry and watering my plants, I made my way to bed through tears. I don't know exactly when Michael died, but I'm sure he was surrounded by his brothers and that he had a good death. I'm sure he offered all his suffering to join with the Lord's Passion for the salvation of souls. And I'm sure he's praying for me now, as I'm praying for him.

2016 seemed to barrel on through nightmare scenarios and celebrity deaths. In my own life, I experienced a death to a transient way of life - living in other people's homes, trying to figure out what I should be about, discerning religious life. I moved to Elmira and have been enjoying my time here. But the call to religious life has bubbled back up to the surface, so next month I am attending a weekend vocation retreat with a group of Benedictine sisters. I think this will be it for me - if I don't fall in love with the life of these sisters and feel the pull to enter, I will be settling down where I am and sinking roots. Either way, my life as a vagabond is over. Thank God.

2016 brought death and destruction, but it also brought life and renewal, and it was the Year of Mercy in the Catholic Church. I'll not do a list of "here's what happened in 2016" because you can easily graze Google for that. To those who mourn 2016 as a plague-ridden blotch on the soul of the 21st century, I offer a few thoughts:

• We're only 16 years into the new century. There is still a LOT of history to be made. 
• The loss of pop icons - while sad because they are human beings and certainly have left behind loved ones who grieve their loss - is not cause for despair. 
• Governments and administrations come and go. Yes, they leave a mark, and yes, they are powerful in a limited, worldly kind of way. But it is we the people who have the power to make the world what we want it to be - through kindness, charity, hope, and joy. 
• When tragedy and the threat of despair press in, our response to our sisters and brothers needs to be immediate and unreserved. Whether it's prayer, financial contribution, human labor, or a combination, we must continually turn to each other in times of trouble. And we must turn to God in gratitude for each other and for comfort when life seems impossible.
• When people treat you poorly, no matter if you called them friends, don't sweat it. Walk away, grieve as you need to, forgive, and pray for them.
• Never forget the value of human life, womb to tomb. When we start to hedge the value of life, it erodes our quality of life and our moral compass.
• Unplug yourself and get out there and live. Read a book. Ride a bike. Volunteer to build a house for the homeless. Read to kids at the library. Pray to God in whatever way you understand God. Live.

2017 will be, for me, a year of choices: making decisions and moving forward in a direction that will lay the groundwork for the 2nd half of my life (oh man, did I really say that? yes, I'll be turning 49). 

It will also be, grounded in the realizations and experiences of the last few months, a year of relating differently to people and situations. I'm not so concerned with trying to please others or play into pre-conceived notions of how I'm supposed to be. I trust that God has created me to be who I am, and that He provides me with all I need. In other words, I am truly free to live my life. Thank God.

As always, I thank you for reading, and I assure you of my prayers. Please pray for me, and pray that we will all find new beginnings in 2017 that will bear fruit in the Kingdom of God.